Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Is Cinco de Mayo Fake News?

Yesterday, mijo ask me gwhy peoples celebrate the Cinco de Mayo.

“Is because of the Battle of Puebla,” I tole him.

“Do people in Mexico get borrachos and crazy like they do here in the United States?”

“Crazy? No. The kids get day off from eschool and then some mens dresses up in the pueblo of Puebla and play like is the battle happening again.”

“No crazy borrachos?”

“No, is more like kids eating candy and washing TV.”

“Is it about Mexican people being proud of their culture?”

“No,” I say. “I’m no proud of gringos gwearing sombreros and eating chimichangas.”

“Are chimichangas Mexican?”

“I don know. I never ate one,” I say. “But the gringos love to eat the food with all the cheez I don know what it is.”

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Is Cinco de Mayo Fake News?

In Puebla, MX, 500 dead as narco cartel killers crush French gangsters

pueblacartel640(PNS reporting from PUEBLA, MX) Federales have finished cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead, PNS has learned.

The  Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.

Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.

Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.

But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.

Mas…In Puebla, MX, 500 dead as narco cartel killers crush French gangsters

Ronald Reagan to Mex Prez on Cinco de Mayo: ‘Mi casa es su casa’ (video)


QUESTION: Why are Mexican rapists and drug dealers streaming North to enter the US of A illegally?

ANSWER: They were invited by “The Great Communicator.”

Check out this video about the 1988 Cinco de Mayo ceremony at the White House when Republican President Ronald Reagan told Mexican President Miguel de la Madrid Hurtado, “Mi casa es su casa.”

We all know how that worked out! #BUILDTHEWALL

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Cinco de Mayo fruity virgin Micheladas for ju

tiacincoHola! Is Tia Lencha here.

I going to help ju make a new drink for Cinco de Mayo. Is fruity and a virgin. Ju know, with no beers. Get jur mind out of the trash can, cochinos!

I think of the new drink when mijo ask me to taste my watermelons michelada. I think to myself, what if he like it? Will he want to drink beers? I don’t want him to be like mijo’s daddy who drink beers and fall asleep in the tub with his chonies wet with his own pee pee (thas urine for ju pochos). So I make mijo a drink, one that is virgin, and he taste it and he like it, and I taste it and I like it.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Cinco de Mayo fruity virgin Micheladas for ju

Reagan tells Mex Prez on Cinco de Mayo: ‘Mi casa es su casa’ (video)


QUESTION: Why are Mexican rapists and drug dealers streaming North to enter the US of A illegally?

ANSWER: They were invited by “The Great Communicator.”

Check out this video about the 1988 Cinco de Mayo ceremony at the White House when Republican President Ronald Reagan told Mexican President Miguel de la Madrid Hurtado, “Mi casa es su casa.”

We all know how that worked out! #BUILDTHEWALL

East Los man doesn’t care what Cinco de Mayo is all about, yo!

(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Ruben Covarrubias (photo) astounded family and friends here Sunday night when he admitted that the history of Cinco de Mayo didn’t concern him and he’d always thought “May 5 was Mexican Independence Day, so like so what?!”

“I don’t care what it’s about, yo!” he told everyone within earshot of the backyard grill. “I just always celebrated it with MEChA and at school. Partay!”

Mas…East Los man doesn’t care what Cinco de Mayo is all about, yo!

Happy Inko! It’s National Cartoonists Day AND Cinco de Mayo

Happy Inko de Mayo from La Cucaracha!

Yes, today is the day where we celebrate cartoonists, as it is National Cartoonists Day.

Serio, the National Cartoonists Society started this event a few years ago, apparently  because they had no Latino members at the time who might have mentioned May 5 is already Cinco de Mayo, but, hey, I’m glad they ran with it!

Mas…Happy Inko! It’s National Cartoonists Day AND Cinco de Mayo