cinco de mayo

PochOpinion: Here’s what I thinko about Cinco

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chipssalsaWhite folks in sombreros and serapes. Spanglish beer commercials every few minutes. Yup, pretty ridiculous, señor.

I agree with most of my friend Gustavo Arellano’s Cinco de Mayo video rant, mas o menos.

He says it’s ridiculous, only serves some limited purposes as far as educating about the evils of Imperialism, or the promotion of self-determination, y todo eso. Battle of Puebla my ear. Sure. OK, guey.

However, I think Gustavo misses one big fat Manuel’s El Tepeyac Hollenbeck Burrito-sized point:

☞ We’ve got to celebrate with the holidays we have,
not the holidays we want ☜

Mas…PochOpinion: Here’s what I thinko about Cinco

Shock confession! Local man doesn’t care what Cinco de Mayo is about

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broncof(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Ruben Covarrubias astounded family and friends here Sunday night when he admitted that the meaning of Cinco de Mayo didn’t concern him and he’d always thought “May 5 was Mexican Independence Day, so like so what?!”

“I don’t care what it’s about,” he told everyone within earshot of the backyard grill. “I just always celebrated it with MEChA and at school. Partay!”

Friends and family at the Covarrubias’ weekly carne asada were aghast. Some reconsidered whether they’d be driving back to El Sereno next week, multiple witness reported.

Mas…Shock confession! Local man doesn’t care what Cinco de Mayo is about

Cartel street fight in Puebla, MX crushes French gang invaders

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Federales clean up bodies after cartel Battle of Puebla

(PNS reporting from PUEBLA, MX) Federales have finished cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead, PNS has learned.

The  Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.

Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.

Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.

But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.

Mas…Cartel street fight in Puebla, MX crushes French gang invaders

Breaking: Sunday’s Cinco de Mayo called ‘most dangerous ever’

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) America’s observance of Cinco de Mayo on Sunday was the “most dangerous ever” according to a report released here today by the National Institute of Holidays (NIH.)

A record 1378 emergency room visits by gringos failing the “chile challenge” were reported by the group as well as 287 “chancla accidents.”

Mas…Breaking: Sunday’s Cinco de Mayo called ‘most dangerous ever’

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Food Network goes ‘Mexican’ for Cinco de Mayo

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Oh. Hi. Is Tia Lencha here. Don’t talk loud. My cabeza hurts.

Tia Lencha went to a restaurante with mariachis and micheladas and little mini tacos jesterday. She had more micheladas than tacos, and gwell. Is not her fault. The tacos were spensive and the size for the dolls to eat.

So she stay at home putting ice on her cabeza, drinking the water and seeing the Food Network on the TV. And ju know what? They try to be Mexican for Cinco de Mayo.

The first thing I notice is the Cacique cheese commercial a million times. Not estrange except that the voice of an Americano says to go “awtenteeco” like they are translating for all the gringos. Then what’s his name (Aaron Sancho?) from the eshow Chopped appear and shows food and then says all the words in espanish right.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Food Network goes ‘Mexican’ for Cinco de Mayo

Here’s what I thinko about Cinco

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White folks in sombreros and serapes. Spanglish beer commercials every few minutes. Yup, pretty ridiculous, señor.

I agree with most of my friend Gustavo Arellano’s roiling denunciation of Cinco de Mayo, mas o menos.

He says it’s ridiculous, only serves some limited purposes as far as educating about the evils of Imperialism, or the promotion of self-determination, y todo eso. Battle of Puebla my ear. Sure. OK, guey.

However, I think Gustavo misses one big fat Manuel’s El Tepeyac Hollenbeck Burrito-sized point: We’ve got to celebrate with the holidays we have. Not the holidays we want.

Mas…Here’s what I thinko about Cinco

Happy Inko! Celebrate National Cartoonists Day on Cinco de Mayo

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Happy Inko de Mayo from La Cucaracha!

Yes, today is the day where we celebrate cartoonists, as it is National Cartoonists Day.

Serio, the National Cartoonists Society started this event a few years ago, apparently  because they had no Latino members at the time who might have mentioned May 5 is already Cinco de Mayo, but, hey, I’m glad they ran with it!

So, let’s honor our ink-stained heroes who go back to the drawing table day after day and try to provide you with some laughs, smirks or even a muted chuckle. I am happy to double celebrate on this day, especially as a Chicano cartoonist and avid Battle of Puebla recreator. So throw a few back today (of course I mean espresso, we’re celebrating cartoonists for heaven’s sake!)

I’m drinking a cerveza and contemplating Cinco de Mayo

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I approach el Cinco de Mayo with excitement and ambivalence.

I learned the history of the Battle of Puebla as the son of proud Mexicans, who happened to be immigrants. The story goes: On the fifth of May 1862, a small Mexican army kicks French butt. Bueno.

My dad and grandmother worked at the Cinco de Mayo restaurant on Pacific Coast Highway in a small L.A. harbor town. My association with the day is food, drink, familia, history, cultura.

Mas…I’m drinking a cerveza and contemplating Cinco de Mayo

Cartel street battle in Mexico ends in rout of French gang invaders

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(PNS reporting from MEXICO) Federales are cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead.

The  Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.

Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.

Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.

But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.

Mas…Cartel street battle in Mexico ends in rout of French gang invaders

Breaking: Mexican troops say French use poison gas in Puebla

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(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) French invaders fighting indigenous militias in the state of Puebla are using poison gas, according to situation reports circulating here in the capital.

If the reports can be substantiated, it marks a dangerous escalation in the hostilities, and would mean Napoleon III’s troops have “crossed a red line” set by the Lincoln Administration in Washington.

“Oh simon, it was gas,” said one eyewitness rushed from the front by the cavalry. “French General Pepe Le Pew knows he is losing the la guerra and he is desperate. We think it is the deadly gas de brie, which these queseros love.”

Mas…Breaking: Mexican troops say French use poison gas in Puebla

PochoCast #4: Alcaraz/Madrigal ‘Cinco de Mayo fever jumps the shark’

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Listen to Los Dos Amigos -- they know a guy

POCHO’s Lalo Alcaraz, Jefe-in-Chief, and Al Madrigal, Migrant Editor, Skype truth to power in PochoCast Number Four.

The long-distance interlocutors are all about Cinco de Mayo fever, Mexican Mitt Romney, Gustavo Arellano,  Taco John’s,  SB1070, Obama, the Dream Act, Los Lobos, Latino USA, Taco USA, La Cucaracha, Ann Romney, Twitter, hate mail, the Politico blog, FU money, MEChA, the Walmart Mexico bribery scandal, and this guy Al knows.

Although the podcast is recommended listening for your morning commute, do not listen while shaving, frying bacon (naked or not) or inserting contact lenses due to danger of cuts, burns and/or pokes in the eye.  No warranty expressed or implied. Your mileage may vary. We don’t speak your crazy moon language.

Ñewsweek: MEChA makeover, French tribe in Puebla, MX, Hey Vato!

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Puebla cave paintings point to France

It’s so last century, the new generation of Chicano students say, and the hard-to-pronounce-and-explain name for venerable activist organization M.E.Ch.A has to change! POCHO covered the explosive debate and published your reader comments in this week’s biggest story.

And history came alive as anthropologists discovered a previously-lost tribe of Frenchman living in caves near the city of Puebla, MX. Are they a remnant of the troops sent by Napoleon III in 1862?

Keep on reading  — we’ve got the latest ñews on Cinco de Mayo, the Hey Vato! homies discuss the Raider’s Nation, Romney’s campaigning parrot and more:

Mas…Ñewsweek: MEChA makeover, French tribe in Puebla, MX, Hey Vato!

Cinco de Mayo installation art in Beverly Hills (video and photos)

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Ramiro Gomez is an installation artist who makes the invisible visible by inserting cardboard versions of usually-overlooked Mexican laborers into actual settings. Last night he emailed:

Fresh piece I just installed this afternoon on the westbound corner of Mountain Drive and Sunset Boulevard in Beverly Hills. If you’re driving around that part of town, stop by and check it out before it’s inevitably taken down.

Like Gomez wanted, POCHO stopped by the intersection the morning of Cinco de Mayo and shot this video. It reminded us of a Folgers Crystals instant coffee commercial: “We’ve secretly replaced your ordinarily-invisible immigrant gardener with a cardboard replica. Let’s see if anyone notices!”  And we have photos from Gomez, below.

Mas…Cinco de Mayo installation art in Beverly Hills (video and photos)

Cinco de Mayo is an American holiday — and we’ve got videos!

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QUESTION: How can you tell when Cinco de Mayo has turned into a totally American holiday? ANSWER: When gabachos from Tennessee start making rap videos about it in broken Spanglish! Dear Hootie (AKA Hoochie) and the Brofish: Orale!

For your Only in Los Angeles moment, check out a local news video about Cinco de Mayo at MexiKosher, a kosher Mexican restaurant in the heavily-Jewish Pico-Robertson neighborhood:

Mas…Cinco de Mayo is an American holiday — and we’ve got videos!

Cartel street battle in Puebla, MX ends in rout of French gang invaders

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Federales clean up bodies after cartel Battle of Puebla
Authorities said 462 French gangsters died and 300 were injured
(PNS reporting from PUEBLA, MEXICO) Federales are cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead.

The  Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.

Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.

Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.

But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.

Mas…Cartel street battle in Puebla, MX ends in rout of French gang invaders

NPR Cinco de Mayo show taps Gustavo Arellano, La Santa Cecilia

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Coming from the East Coast and all, the National Public Radio Alt.Latino peeps needed to come here to get the real California deal on Cinco de Mayo. They called on two local treasures:  Gustavo Arellano, editor of OCWeekly.com, and East Los rockers La Santa Cecilia:

This week we bring ourselves to that most bicultural of holidays — Cinco de Mayo. As we discuss in the show, there is a question about whether or not this is just another opportunity for happy hour specials or store-wide sales: “Get your new bed during our Mexican Mattresstravaganza!!!”

We invited writer Gustavo Arellano to help us shed some light on the issue. He has tackled this theme before in his syndicated column Ask A Mexican.

Here on the East Coast, the Cinco de Mayo experience is different from what it is in California. It feels much less connected to themes of cultural pride and more like an excuse to drink margaritas.

Mas…NPR Cinco de Mayo show taps Gustavo Arellano, La Santa Cecilia

Ñewsweek: Gasbacks swarm MX, corporate cartoon capers caca

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Gas is hella cheap in Mexico and gabachos with gas-guzzlers are going gaga South of the Border filling their gaping petrol holes. Here in Los United Estates, politically-aware cartoons (like Doonesbury) are getting censored.

This cartoon caca is old news to us: Last year, a cartoon by POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz was deemed racist by Huffington Post corporate bigwigs and got the editor of Brentwood.Patch.com fired. Turns out the editor is someone we know and love…

Based on actual stats, here are the Top Ten most popular stories this ñewsweek on Pocho.com:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Gasbacks swarm MX, corporate cartoon capers caca

How Lalo Alcaraz got me fired from Patch.com – the true story

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From December of 2010 through Spring 2011, I was the editor of Brentwood.Patch.com, the West Los Angeles outpost of AOL/Huffington Post’s “hyperlocal” news operation.

For Cinco de Mayo, I commissioned three stories: The real history of Cinco de Mayo as related by a professor at Mount St. Mary’s (Brentwood’s only college), the best places to celebrate with nachos and beer in Brentwood and a cartoon from my friend Lalo Alcaraz about how the Battle of Puebla is understood in Brentwood.

Mas…How Lalo Alcaraz got me fired from Patch.com – the true story

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