Gov. Jan Brewer and Arizona’s asinus aspirations aplenty

Despite the clamoring of dozens of its citizens, officials recently turned back the equus asinus aspirations of a donkey as candidate for a seat in the Ecuadorean National Assembly.

Regrettably, the canny citizens of Guayaquil, Ecuador were denied their electoral ends — to register a donkey aptly named “Mr. Donkey” to run for the national legislature.

But I have a new suggestion for “Mr. Donkey.” Perhaps, “Mr. Donkey” should move to Arizona, “The Meth Lab of Democracy” – but of course, only after all his immigration papers are properly in order.

Here, he may yet thwart the ambitions of Arizona’s current Gov. Jan Brewer (photo, right) who, unconstitutionally speaking, contemplates a possible third term.

The governor is undoubtedly unfulfilled and unsatisfied thus far with her gubernatorial benefactions to the state. There’s more to be done notwithstanding Arizona’s damaged reputation or that along with Nevada, Arizona stands at the pole position of America’s “Dumbest States.”

And now Arizona has covered itself with even more glory in a brand new poll that ranks “The Best and Worst Run States in America.” Arizona placed 47th and even bested my former home state Nevada, which came in 45th. California was 50th thereby earning the title of “Worst Run State” — for the second year in a row.

Who can blame Arizona’s governor for wanting to further cement such an impressive legacy? “How ya gonna keep ‘em down on the farm after they’ve seen Paree?“

Arizona earned its worse run ranking honestly, thanks, in part, to per capita debt of $2,188; a 39% budget deficit; 9.5% unemployment; and the 8th highest percentage in the U.S. of residents living below the poverty line.

By reviewing “hundreds of data sets,” the outfit calling itself “24/7 Wall St” surveyed the financial health, standard of living and government services of all 50 states to determine how well each state is managed.

Conceivably, such an able chief executive — who inexplicably reminds me of a well-seasoned Sue Sue Heck from ABC Television’s Sitcom, The Middle but without the innocence, intellect or comedic timing — aspires to yet complete the mission of toppling perennial first place finisher California as the worst-run state in America.

And for further drama and possibly even more luster, Governor Brewer also has one more dubious achievement to target should she finagle a third term, graduation rates in Arizona continue to lag.

Just-released U.S. Department of Education figures disclose that Arizona came in ranked in the bottom half of states in four-year graduation rates. Principal opponent Nevada came in dead last, which now surely gives Arizona another aspirational ambition: one more category to beat out an arch-rival and seize last place. “You can do it!”

This post reprinted with permission from The Irreverent Lawyer

Photo by Klearchos Kapoutsis.