Remember that time in 2007 when a witch flew low and slow over Monterrey? Realidad o fición?
Witches and sorcerers and brujas oh my gathered for Ritos, Ceremonias y Artesanias (Magical Rituals, Ceremonies and Handicrafts) at Lake Catemaco in Veracruz, Mexico early Saturday morning.
Jarina De Marco reinvents Screamin’ Jay Hawkins’ I Put A Spell On You, santeria style, in Spanglish. [NSFW language.]
Britain’s Daily Mail has the breathless bulletpoints:
Three American friends hospitalised after becoming ‘possessed’ following Ouija board game in Mexican village
- Alexandra Huerta, 22, reportedly playing with Ouija board in Mexican village
- Joined by her brother Sergio, 23, and 18-year-old cousin Fernando Cuevas
- But minutes into game, trio apparently started acting in a ‘trance-like state’
Arizona Governor Jan Brewer won’t run again, she announced Wednesday, but said her retirement as governor won’t put an end to her dreams.
“A mule is an animal with long funny ears,” she told an audience at a school in Glendale, AZ, “she kicks up at anything she hears. Her back is brawny and her brain is weak, she’s just plain stupid with a stubborn streak. So when I walk out of this school, I’ll still remain a stupid mule.”
There are Pocho Ocho items on her bucket list, Brewja said:
8. Realize her dream of starting a clothing optional retreat with Sheriff Joe Arpaio
7. Spend more time with her coven
6. Convince George Lucas to cast her as Evil Yoda in the next Star Wars movie
Jarina De Marco reinvents Screamin’ Jay Hawkins’ I Put A Spell On You, santeria style, in Spanglish. [NSFW language, F-bomb.]
Contrast and compare with the original Screamin’ Jay version:
(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) Gov. Jan Brewer has signed into law a bill banning the state’s schools from teaching Chechen Studies classes, defined as history, anthropology and literature courses designed to teach the stories, histories, struggles and triumphs of the Chechen people through their own unique perspectives.
The bill (HB2013) passed by the Legislature states that schools will lose state funding if they offer any courses that “promote the overthrow of the U.S. government, promote resentment of a particular race or class of people, are designed primarily for students of a particular ethnic group, advocate ethnic solidarity or just plain educate the students.”
When Jan Brewja, governor of the Hate State of Arizona (photo,right), officially announced her absence from the jurisdiction, concerned Americans began a desperate search for LOST GOV, posting flyers on telephone polls and all over the Internets.
Her mysterious disappearance almost overshadowed the shocking revelation of Iowa’s Brian Peterson, who finally had to come to grips with the fact that he watches telenovelas for the boobs, not to learn Spanish like he originally told himself.
And in San Diego, a multimillionaire commissioned a billboard to get himself a new girlfriend for Christmas — a “Christmas Latina.” Our Especial Correspondents uncovered some earlier versions of the billboard, and an intrepid photographer snapped the final version of the message.
Here are the links to the top stories that broke the ñews:
Despite the clamoring of dozens of its citizens, officials recently turned back the equus asinus aspirations of a donkey as candidate for a seat in the Ecuadorean National Assembly.
Regrettably, the canny citizens of Guayaquil, Ecuador were denied their electoral ends — to register a donkey aptly named “Mr. Donkey” to run for the national legislature.
But I have a new suggestion for “Mr. Donkey.” Perhaps, “Mr. Donkey” should move to Arizona, “The Meth Lab of Democracy” – but of course, only after all his immigration papers are properly in order.
Here, he may yet thwart the ambitions of Arizona’s current Gov. Jan Brewer (photo, right) who, unconstitutionally speaking, contemplates a possible third term.
The governor is undoubtedly unfulfilled and unsatisfied thus far with her gubernatorial benefactions to the state. There’s more to be done notwithstanding Arizona’s damaged reputation or that along with Nevada, Arizona stands at the pole position of America’s “Dumbest States.”
Have you seen a flyer in your neighborhood? Have you spotted Brewer? Email a photo to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll get it online ASAP. Need a flyer to print and post yourself? The large-size printable flyers are here: LOST GOV Please print and share!
*UPDATED: Concerned citizen David W in Oregon posted and photographed the flyer in his neighborhood:
Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer (photo, right) has signed an executive order directing state agencies to deny driver’s licenses and other public benefits to young undocumented immigrants who obtain work authorizations under the new Obama administration Deferred Action program.
She also signed executive orders dealing with undocumented children and other matters:
- Undocumented farmworker children may not work picking other crops other than poisoned apples