Arizona Governor Jan Brewer won’t run again, she announced Wednesday, but said her retirement as governor won’t put an end to her dreams.
“A mule is an animal with long funny ears,” she told an audience at a school in Glendale, AZ, “she kicks up at anything she hears. Her back is brawny and her brain is weak, she’s just plain stupid with a stubborn streak. So when I walk out of this school, I’ll still remain a stupid mule.”
There are Pocho Ocho items on her bucket list, Brewja said:
8. Realize her dream of starting a clothing optional retreat with Sheriff Joe Arpaio
7. Spend more time with her coven
6. Convince George Lucas to cast her as Evil Yoda in the next Star Wars movie
5. Start building her pyramid in the desert
4. Two words: Google Glasshole
3. Market her specialty line of Brewer’s Yeast Sex Lube
2. Get the fuck drunk
And the numero uno thing on Jan Brewja’s bucket list is …
Finally make her mark as a Competitive Vajazzler.
Lalo Alcaraz, Victor Payan, EresNerd and Comic Saenz contributed to this report.