Inspired by Snoop Lion? Mexico wants to change its name, too

I was once reading a delightful conversation online between inbred racist trolls on their favorite punching bag, Mexico; they joked about making Mexico the “51st state.”

One idiot brilliantly observed that this genius plan might not work because “I think they have states, too.”

Wow. Yes, Mexico has 31 states, and one Federal District,  presumably where the Federales park their horses. (A little backwater ranchito called Mexico City.)

But Mexico, as it turns out, also doesn’t have the name “Mexico.”

On its independence from madre España in 1821, Mexico became the Estados Unidos Mexicanos or “Mexican United States.” It’s said that  this United States-like name inspired the also freedom-loving people south of the border, and the name became official in 1824.

Outgoing Mexican President Felipe Calderon just sent the Mexican Congress proposed legislation to change the country’s name officially to simply “Mexico.”

Mas…Inspired by Snoop Lion? Mexico wants to change its name, too

@MexicanMitt Romney’s final concession espeech [complete text]

[EDITOR’S NOTE: @MexicanMitt Romney, the Twitter sensation, has graced us with the complete text of his concession speech upon losing to President Barack Obama. Enjoy this heart-wrenching espeech, gueyes.]

AJUA!

GREETINGS MY GUEYES!

I HAVE CALLED BLACK REAGAN AND CONCEDED THAT HE CHEATED BETTER THAN I DID. SHOUT OUT to his wife and her sister-wives.

I WANT TO THANK my running mate POLLO RYAN FOR NADA, NALGAS, EL ZILCHO.

We didn’t win his home estate of Wisconsin. He couldn’t even get us the Munsters vote, ESMALL AS THAT IS.

IF ANYONE knows where he has been for the last three weeks, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

Mas…@MexicanMitt Romney’s final concession espeech [complete text]

Mexican Mitt’s Last Espeech: I’m in it to guin it, by any beans necessary

MY FINAL ESPEECH TO THE NATION BEFORE I RULE OVER IT

AJUA!

Viejas and Gentlemen, voters, suppressed voters, this is my final espeech to you before I win the election tomorrow for the Presidency of the United Estates. This is the most important Presidential election of your lifetime, if you were born this year.

I know, you are RELIEVED that this long national nightmare will be finally over. I, too, am sick of the ads, the constant campaigning, having to look at my running mate what’s-his-face, but especially I am sick of Bronco Bamma.

But enough about Black Reagan. Or the country. You all want to know how this affects ME, Mexican Mitt Romney. Campaigning is hard. It’s almost like a yob, which I have not held in a long time. Despite waking up in various strange hotels with Mormon wood every day, I still miss my 14 RANCHOS. (For the language-impaired, “rancho” is Spanish for “polygamous Mormon compound.”)

Mas…Mexican Mitt’s Last Espeech: I’m in it to guin it, by any beans necessary