Catholic bishop voicemail transcript: I have a chica and two kids, Your Eminence – I resign

Gabino Zavala (photo by Archdiocese of Los Angeles)

(PNS reporting from VATICAN CITY) Los Angeles Roman Catholic Auxiliary Bishop Gabino Zavala shocked the Southern California faithful late last year when he resigned after revelations of a long-standing romantic relationship and two children. He left his farewell to God’s Holy Church via voicemail, according to transcripts of his phone calls to Archbishop Jose Gomez just furnished to PNS by ex-News of the World tech staffers. The transcript:


Your's Gabe.  I know we're busy with the Holy Days and all but I really needed to give you a heads-up on a couple of things. Since you came to the Archdiocese and with you an Opus Dei guy and me a Pax Christi's been a little bit like Chivas vs America (chuckles)...but anyway I guess you being ultra-conservative and me being more Christ-like...sorry I mean liberal...isn't really why I'm calling.  Listen a couple of things have come up.  You remember I was telling you about that the woman I met at the Interfaith Worker Justice convention back in '99...the one in Vegas that


Sorry your voicemail really doesn't let you leave long messages...Anyway, you know...well it was back at the convention that I met this lovely CCD teacher and we really hit it off.  She was also involved in prison ministry...I mean go figure (laughs).  Right so we really got to talking and she really touched me in a way...OK wait not like what you're thinking...(lowers voice) that was kind of later. In any case, I felt all warm and kind of goofy inside and at first I thought maybe it's the Holy Spirit...but the physical reaction I got...I'm sure you know what I mean...was pun understand.

(BEEP) know you can extend the message length on the voicemail by going to the options menu...I'm sure your assistant can help you with that...So as I was saying it was was Vegas...the world was going to end...and well you know those commercials have it down pretty good...(laughter)...what happens in Vegas; stays in Vegas...(coughs)...sorry.  OK so anyway, one thing lead to another and we had dinner then a cocktail and...which I did note erroneously in my expense report as having dinner with Bishop Walsh...boy did he have a tough job...I really admired his outreach to all of the working ladies in Nevada...sorry I know that I'm running out of...


...time again...(sighs)..OK...I'm not really calling about the bad expense report...but I will reimburse the Archdiocese for that...please have Mr. Steiner send me an email with the amount I owe...Yeah, I really feel bad about was at Vic & Anthony's over at the Nugget...which by the way makes an incredible bone-in ribeye...did you know they got voted Best Steak in Vegas...Right...OK so let me make this quick...(laughs)...Yeah, so here's why I'm one thing leads to know how things can get crazy fast...and so it turns out that I've got a couple of...

(BEEP) with the CCD teacher and a...don't worry I haven't been a deadbeat dad...but yeah the kids are starting to ask questions...and before it gets (crashing noise in background, child's voice: 'PAAAAPIIIII!') ... (ZAVALA) Oh good grief, GO GET A TOWEL, PICK UP THE - JESUS! - PICK UP THE GOLDFISH, DON'T CUT YOURSELF ON THE ... oh, sorry, Eminence, as I was saying...I think I need to by way of this voicemail I'm officially resigning.  OK talk to you later...bye. Jesus! What did I just...


Oh yeah...sorry...Merry Christmas.

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