scandal

It’s the October Surprise! Pocho Ocho Top JuikiLiques Bombshells

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juikiVenezuela-based “transparency” website JuikiLiques dropped some big political bombshells this morning — the so-called “October Surprise.”

POCHO’s Especial Correspondents axed all the refryable sources to concoct this list, so check it out: The Pocho Ocho Top Juikiliques Bombshells:

8. Donald Trump’s plan to have “Mexico pay for the wall” relies on hiring Mexican workers, not paying them, and then deporting them, a scheme that worked so well in previous real estate projects.

7. Hillary Clinton threw away over 200 valuable AOL membership CDs and never told the FBI.

6. Donald Trump’s hairdresser, former airport cosmetologist Manila Envelopé, won’t use anything but Tres Flores mousse for Trump’s weave-over, but she removes the labels so the Donald won’t know.

Mas…It’s the October Surprise! Pocho Ocho Top JuikiLiques Bombshells

Area man relieved Ashley Madison was hacked, not Ashley Mamon

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ashley2 (PNS reporting from SAN BERNARDINO) A local Christian conservative anti-immigration blogger is relieved that the AshleyMadison.com adultery website was hacked, not the Latino gay hookup site AshleyMamon.com.

“Whoa I almost crapped my pantalones when I heard about Ashley Madison on a car radio some beaner was blasting in the next lane,” the 43-year-old insurance agent told PNS Thursday afternoon.

Mas…Area man relieved Ashley Madison was hacked, not Ashley Mamon

Pocho Ocho ways to tell the MSA is esnooping and espying on ustedes

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It’s not just the National Security Agency (NSA) doing the esnooping and espying.

Great Britain’s MI5 and MI6 are American partners in Europe. Israel’s Mossad and Shin Bet have the Mideast portfolio.

And in Latino communities in the United Estates, invading your privacy has been outsourced to the Mexican Security Agency (MSA).

Paranoid yet? Here are the Pocho Ways to tell if the Mexican Security Agency (MSA) is espying on you:

8. Neighborhood burros watch you suspiciously after you wake up from your cactus-shaded siesta.

7. Whenever you post that you ROFLMAO when you really only LOL, you get an anonymous text that says “En boca cerrada, no entran moscas.”

6. When Chivas fans do the “Mexican wave” on TV, they hold up big cards that spell out your email password.

Mas…Pocho Ocho ways to tell the MSA is esnooping and espying on ustedes

PNS*Hot*Flash: Sick Queen Elizabeth says horsemeat is fine

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(PNS reporting from LONDON) Queen Elizabeth II of England — depite being briefly hospitalized with a stomach infection — has endorsed the stampede of European carnivores who say horsemeat in your beefburger is no big deal.

Joining the German cabinet minister who advocated giving horsemeat-tainted products to poor people and the Huffington Post’s LatinoVoices, which published a Cuban horsemeat recipe, the 86-year-old Queen put her stamp of approval on the new “austerity” regime:

Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: Sick Queen Elizabeth says horsemeat is fine

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