It’s the October Surprise! Pocho Ocho Top JuikiLiques Bombshells

juikiVenezuela-based “transparency” website JuikiLiques dropped some big political bombshells this morning — the so-called “October Surprise.”

POCHO’s Especial Correspondents axed all the refryable sources to concoct this list, so check it out: The Pocho Ocho Top Juikiliques Bombshells:

8. Donald Trump’s plan to have “Mexico pay for the wall” relies on hiring Mexican workers, not paying them, and then deporting them, a scheme that worked so well in previous real estate projects.

7. Hillary Clinton threw away over 200 valuable AOL membership CDs and never told the FBI.

6. Donald Trump’s hairdresser, former airport cosmetologist Manila Envelopé, won’t use anything but Tres Flores mousse for Trump’s weave-over, but she removes the labels so the Donald won’t know.

5. Campaign advisors had to “stage an intervention” with Bill Clinton to get him to stop using You Ain’t Nothin’ But A Hound Dog as his theme song.

4. Trump’s 2013 tax returns show a $11,915 business expense deduction for Peruvian Marching Power Provisioning, LLC.

3. The Clinton Foundation never heard back after sending $26,680 to Nigerian Prince Konta Tama

2. Confidential Donald Trump REPORT OF A PHYSICAL EXAMINATION says the rumors are true: Small hands = small penis.

And the Numero Uno Top Juikiliques Bombshell is…

“Make America Great Again” is really just an anagram for America Karate Gaga Mine. In other words, دونالد ترامب هو مهرج زاحف


Especial Correspondents Professor Equis and Comic Saenz contributed to this report.

Photo via Detroit News.