Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush debate immigration (1980 video)
Before the Republican Party went insane, Presidential hopefuls Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush debated immigration.
It’s the October Surprise! Pocho Ocho Top JuikiLiques Bombshells
Venezuela-based “transparency” website JuikiLiques dropped some big political bombshells this morning — the so-called “October Surprise.”
POCHO’s Especial Correspondents axed all the refryable sources to concoct this list, so check it out: The Pocho Ocho Top Juikiliques Bombshells:
8. Donald Trump’s plan to have “Mexico pay for the wall” relies on hiring Mexican workers, not paying them, and then deporting them, a scheme that worked so well in previous real estate projects.
7. Hillary Clinton threw away over 200 valuable AOL membership CDs and never told the FBI.
6. Donald Trump’s hairdresser, former airport cosmetologist Manila Envelopé, won’t use anything but Tres Flores mousse for Trump’s weave-over, but she removes the labels so the Donald won’t know.
Mas…It’s the October Surprise! Pocho Ocho Top JuikiLiques Bombshells
‘That Mexican Thing Again’ ringtones make America great again (audio)
Make America Great Again with Mike Pence That Mexican Thing Again ringtones.
They’re the perfect audio identifiers for those extra especial phone calls!
Mas…‘That Mexican Thing Again’ ringtones make America great again (audio)
Pocho Ocho most damaging Tweets Trump went back and deleted
Reports are circulating that Donald Trump and/or his staff have been combing over his Twitter timeline and deleting embarrassing Tweets — remarks he and his campaign no longer want to defend. One Tweet he wishes wasn’t his claimed that China invented climate change to steal American jobs, a Tweet ridiculed Monday night by Hillary Clinton (photo.)
POCHO’s staff has been going over the Twitter archives and grabbed screenshots of some @RealDonaldTrump Tweets that are probably next on the deletion hit list.
Here are the Pocho Ocho Most Damaging:
Mas…Pocho Ocho most damaging Tweets Trump went back and deleted
Back from the dead y live on YouTube, FDR explains the debates (video)
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 32nd Presidente of the United Estates and Democratic Party icon, is back from the dead and live on YouTube with a video that explains in one minute what to expect in tonight’s Clinton vs Trump debate. Like both former Presidents Bush, former President Clinton, and former President Carter, former President Roosevelt will not be voting for Donald Trump.
Debate Drinking Game: Turn lame to LOLs with Arpaio Viejo™ Tequila
Make tonight’s presidential debate extra especial with the POCHO Debate Drinking Game, sponsored by Arpaio Viejo™ Tequila.
Keep your eyes on the screen, stay alert and react swiftly! Life is chort!
Mas…Debate Drinking Game: Turn lame to LOLs with Arpaio Viejo™ Tequila
Ronald Reagan and George Bush ❤️ undocumented migrants (video)
Republicans In Name Only (RINOs) Ronald Reagan and George H. W. Bush, running for the GOP presidential nomination in 1980, speak up for undocumented immigrants. They definitely don’t want to make America great again.
Mas…Ronald Reagan and George Bush ❤️ undocumented migrants (video)
Now playing on a screen near you: Republicans With Attitude (toon)
NWAs Straight Outta Compton [NSFW video]:
Mas…Now playing on a screen near you: Republicans With Attitude (toon)
Bush Sr. backs DREAMers, Reagan says ‘no border fence’ (1980 video)
Come with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear (1980), when Republican candidate George H.W. Bush backed the rights of kids brought into the country without documents and GOP rival Ronald W. Reagan just said no to a fence on the Mexican border.
Texas GOP politician’s Tweet makes him ‘Pendejo of the Month’
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Texas State Senator Dan Patrick, a Republican Lieutenant Governor wannabe, was named Pendejo of the Month Wednesday by the American Pochismo Institute (API.) The award followed his Univision debate Tuesday with San Antonio Mayor Julián Castro (photo.)
API’s designation, which is usually not revealed until the end of the month, was awarded Wednesday to Patrick for actions “Above And Beyond the Call of Douchery” after Patrick sent this Tweet Tuesday evening about how much he loves “Hispanics:”
Mas…Texas GOP politician’s Tweet makes him ‘Pendejo of the Month’
Gov. Willard ‘Mitt’ Romney according to The New York Times (photo)
“At his worst, Mr. Romney sounded like a beauty pageant contestant groping for an answer to the final question…” –Editorial, The New York Times.
Attn Night Editor: Replace debate images, rewrite hed, update story
NIGHT EDITOR! REPLACE THIS TEXT, REWRITE THE HEADLINE AND SWAP IN NEW IMAGES BEFORE WE GO LIVE.
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) President Barack Obama and Governor Mitt Romney met for their final debate here tonight and blah blah bah.
The two clashed over foreign policy with Romney accusing the president of herp, derp and zoool, and Obama countering that Romney really la la la I can’t hear you.
Staged in the retiree-heavy community of Rat Mouth, where eternally-flashing left-turn signals are the law of the land and the population lives on Early Bird Specials, the debate was declared a draw by people who weren’t paying attention and a total oratorical victory for Obama by everyone else.
Boca Raton and nearby communities of Delray and Boynton Beach are fetid humid swampland still unredeemed from the biting, itching and crawling creatures that call this their natural home. The area was only chosen as the debate venue because Jerry Seinfeld’s parents live nearby and wanted to come. PAGE BREAK HERE.
Mas…Attn Night Editor: Replace debate images, rewrite hed, update story
Exclusive: Obama preps ‘zingers’ for debate with Romney (photo)
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Pres. Barack Obama, stung by criticism of his lackluster performance in the first debate, is hard at work prepping for tonight’s encounter with Gov. Mitt Romney. Sources tell PNS that First Lady Michelle Obama is helping out with flashcards of “zingers” and furnished this exclusive photo.
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.
Ñewsweek: Romney rocked, America crocked, FDR shocked
It’s Mitt Romney’s world, and we just live in it.
This ñewsweek the GOP presidential wannabe filled up POCHO’s infotainment bandwidth with debate shenanigans, Big Bird bashing, Latino-loving at Chipotle and a new commercial shot on Los Angeles’ Olvera Street.
Reaction from around the country included emergency rooms overflowing with debate drinking game alcohol poisoning cases, the previously dead Franklin Delano Roosevelt rising from grave and making a YouTube appearance, y mas mas more.
The most popular stories this week:
Forget Big Bird! Meet Señor Loro, the Latino parrot candidate (video)
From Los Titeres (the puppets): Don’t waste your vote on the phony mainstream yellow bird candidate until you consider wasting your vote on the Puppet Party’s Latino red parrot candidate — Señor Loro for Presidente! (Borderline NSFW language and a disturbing bird bigote.)
Video by Felix Pire. LosTiteresTV is on Facebook and on the Internets.
–Freelancer Junior Wences PhD writes by hand.
Don’t wait for immigration reform: PORT-A-BORDER is here! (video)
“Comprehensive immigration reform” is like the weather — everyone talks about it but no one does anything about it. That’s why real Americans are going wild over PORT-A-BORDER, the personal hi-tech illegal immigration solution that keeps those darn Mexicans out of your personal space. (Possibly NSFW language.)
Back from the dead and live on YouTube, FDR on the debate (video)
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 32nd Presidente of Los United Estates, is back from the dead and live on YouTube with a video that explains the first Presidential Debate in just one minute.
Pocho Ocho moderators we’d like to see at the next debate
With complaints about debate moderator Jim Lehrer’s stupid questions and complete lack of huevos filling the mediascape, we came up with a list of the Pocho Ocho moderators we’d like to see at the next debate:
7. The Wu-Tang Clan
6. Paul Mooney
5. Andrew Dice Clay
Mas…Pocho Ocho moderators we’d like to see at the next debate