‘Spitfire,’ a novel by Annette Sandoval (Chapters 1-2)

Interoffice Memo
To: Samantha
From: Tomi
Date: July 12, 2011

Subject: Guess what?

Scott, the new associate, just offered me the executive assistant job. He says we could do a three-month trial. He’s offering $45,000 a year.

What do you think?

Tomi

P.S. Yo mama is so ugly she makes onions cry.

To: Tomi
From: Samantha
Date: July 12, 2011

Subject: Are you serious???

Shut up! You have to take it! We’ll work on the same floor. We’ll be neighbors…sort of.

Sam

P.S. Yo mama is so dumb she got hit by a parked car.

To: Samantha
From: Tomi
Date: July 12, 2011

Subject: Hmmmaybe

I’m not sure if I am. I kind of like being the receptionist. I mean, how am I going to work on my film if I’m actually doing some work here?

Tomi

P.S. Yo mama is so nasty she brings crabs to the beach.

To: Tomi
From: Samantha
Date: July 12, 2011

Subject: Huh?

I thought you were done with the grant writing phase of your documentary and had at least six months to kill until you hear anything back.

Just think of all of the shopping we’ll do!

Sam

P.S. Yo mama’s so poor she uses Cheerios as earrings.