(PNS reporting from the HATE STATE OF ARIZONA) Samuel Wurzelbacher – known to most Americans as simply “Joe the Plumber” or “dumbass” – made an recent appearance at a fundraiser for Republican Arizona State Senator candidate Lori Klein and shocked the audience by telling them that the way to solve the country’s illegal Canadian immigration problem is to station troops along the northern border and have them “start shooting the damn snowbacks.”
“For years I’ve said, you know, put a damn fence on the border going to Canada and start shooting. I’m running for Congress and that should be a bad thing to say. But you know what, it’s how I feel…I want my borders protected, I’m very, very adamant about that. I’m sick of these snowbacks sneaking in here illegally!” Wurzelbacher said.
When asked about the unparalleled idiocy of his comments in light of recent mass shootings in Colorado and Wisconsin, Wurzlbacher replied, “Huh?”
The dinner attracted both Wurzelbacher, who is running for Congress in Ohio, and America’s douchiest Sheriff, Joe Arpaio, along with a whopping 125 supporters. Wurzelbacher’s comment was met with nervous laughter and Arpaio stripping naked and screaming about “freedom fries” as seen in a video shot by local news outlet Prescott eNews.
Wurzelbacher repeated his anti-Canadian sentiments the following morning at another campaign event for Klein, an outdoor “Patiotic Morons for ‘Merica” rally in Prescott, AZ.
“I am not a smart man but I am running for Congress. How many congressmen or people running for Congress have you heard say ‘put a fence up and start shooting?’ None? Well you heard it here first! Put troops on the Canadian border and start shooting those fuckers! I bet that solves our Canuck problem real quick!” Wurzelbacher said.
Wurzelbacher’s comments were met with swift condemnation from his Democratic opponent, Rep. Marcy Kaptur (D-OH).
“Joe the Plumber is legally retarded. I know no one really knows that but it’s true. McCain knew it and so do we. He is actually related to Sarah Palin and they both share the same “stupid genes”. They can’t help it. It would be cruel to just lock him up so we allow him to make an ass of himself like this,” she said in a statement obtained by PNS.
Santino J. Rivera is an Indie Publisher and Author @ Broken Sword Publications