Mexican Mitt Romney: ‘Sheriff Paul Babeau’s GAYDAR got to the bottom of the illegal problem’

Anti-Immigrant Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu has resigned as Mitt Romney’s Arizona GOP Primary Campaign Co-Chair.  Sheriff Babeu is facing explosive allegations that he tried to intimidate a former Mexican immigrant lover with deportation threats. Especial Guest Columnist Mexican Mitt Romney offers his Opinión:

Sheriff Babeu has stepped down from his volunteer position with the campaign so he can spend more time fighting with his gay mojado boyfriend.

I am so sad that Sheriff Babeu had to geu.

But he has a bigger fight on his hands than getting me elected President of the United Estates. Babeu is going to focus more on wrestling the problem of illegal immigration to the ground.

Sheriff Babeu is right when he says America’s head is buried in a pillow over immigration. Sheriff Babeu has always said he wants to get ahead of the mojados, and inside the illegals. Inside their minds! Ajua!

Some may call him a Babeuso and a racist anti-immigrant, or even a gay Lex Luthor lookalike, but his Mexican Immigrant Boyfriend called him his “Big Babeu.” But Babeu was a tireless worker in the fight against illegal immigration. Babeu was almost at the bottom of the immigrant problem, plus with his help, my campaign was smoking the polls!

It is tragic he had to resign from co-chairing my Arizona campaign, because he had a really strong “GAYDAR” for illegal immigrants! Ajua! Until his recent troubles, Sheriff Babeu was going ahead with plans to install a GAYDAR system all along the Mexican border!  Sheriff Babeu’s GAYDAR Border Fence would catch all the Homojados. He called this, “Operation Gaykeeper.”

The proposed GAYDAR Border Fence was going to catch all the gayliens and keep them in Arizona, at Babeu’s Headquarters. Babeu’s plan was to “Catch and Release” the heterolegals, and keep the gayliens, in a brilliant plan to improve Arizona’s faltering Interior Design industry. It’s like Speed Dating, but with intimate Law Enforcement involvement.

Babeu works hard on body search

As far as this “Gay Jose,” Sheriff Babeu is not sure if his ex-Mex was illegal, but he said “his chorizo sure looked like it had its papers.”

Babeu was fully compliant with SB1070 when he asked his boyfriend, let’s call him Juan Gabriel, and said, “Show me your PEPPER!” And he did. And then they took photos of it to post online, to warn all the other gayliens to stay away.

Critics are speculating that Babeu was “harboring” an illegal (in potential violation of SB 1070) by bedding down his immigrant boyfriend. Well, it depends who was doing the “harboring,” doesn’t it? Ajua!

Sheriff Babeu has always warned us that the homojados are pretty crafty and they will slip in behind you, when you are not looking!”

Both I and Sheriff Babeu have never liked illegal entry but he sure liked to enter Mexico! He was always thinking of ways to slam illegals, like his great anti-immigrant campaign slogan: “SHOW ME YOUR PEPPERS.”

In his resignation press conference, Babeu also said it is totally okay for him to post naked photos of himself on the internet. I support his right to show his stiff opposition to illegals by posting nude photos of himself on websites like HotMan Connect and Mojado Mingle.

It is perfectly fine that a public servant do that, as long as he is a Republican! If he is a Democrat, we will hound him to the ends of the earth until he resigns in shame. But if you are a dues-paying GOP member, snap away and post your member online for all to see! Spread your eagle for America! Ajua!

I wish Sheriff Babeu well in his future battles against his illegal alien ex-boyfriends. He has a bright future ahead of him in Law Enforcement, and in the completion of his GAYDAR Border Fence project. He has a lot of fans in the Republican Party, and especially among the Teabaggers. Perhaps he can start a gay version of the Village People, and he can be their Sheriff singer.

I know it will be a song of Liberty!

Good luck Sheriff Babeu. Please do not come to any of my Arizona campaign events, OK guey? Ajua!

Mexican Mitt Romney is on Twitter and Facebook.