With the midterm election over, President Obama’s plan to use his executive powers to ease immigration issues for DREAMers, Central American refugees and others has Republicans up in arms about so-called “amnesty.”
Obama is “shredding the Constitution,” they claim, and even Mitt Romney, for Pete’s sake, has to remind Obama that he, Obama, is a loser. Jon Stewart and The Daily Show — with the help of Fox News — explain the big picture.
(PNS reporting from TUCSON) Cesar Chavez — noted American farm worker, labor leader and civil rights activist — is back from the dead and running for the congressional seat being vacated by retiring Rep. Ed Pastor (D-AZ).
“I will do just about anything to win in Arizona’s heavily Hispanic 7th Congressional District,” Chavez said in a press release, “including rising from the grave if that’s what it takes.”
A Chavez spokesman said the newly-registered Democratic candidate (until recently a two-time Republican loser) had been “flooded with calls” and was no longer speaking to the press, but if he did decide to answer questions, he would not discuss how he came back from the dead or what the afterlife is like.
Enjoy the ELECTION EVE WORLD PREMIERE of Mexican Mitt Romney‘s first animated music video! Share it with your friends!
They were ordinary people living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstance conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.
When Michigan Gov. George Romney‘s GOP presidential nomination campaign came to the New York World’s Fair in 1964 (photo, left, with son Mitt) an intense young wannabe TV reporter named Gerry Riviera was on the scene.
The nice Jewish boy from Brooklyn was confused after his college experience at the University of Arizona. He had been strangely at home in the desert Southwest, but was still a gefilte fish out of water. What to do with his life?
“I was born to American parents in Mexico,” Romney told reporters as he toured the crumbling, deeply-indebted Spanish Pavilion. “In some ways, it would be helpful to be Latino.” Son Mitt nodded his head in agreement.
MEXICAN MITT ROMNEY RNC ESPEECH 8/30/12
ENTER ON WHITE HORSE
(because Rafalca will trip)
(NOTE: If anyone throws peanuts, Chris Christie will not let those go to waste)
(REMEMBER to adjust sombrero, don't block the expensive background set)
No one has ever asked me for my birth certificate, because that's not what you ask rich white dudes.
Big shout out to Stripper Sarah Palin, see you at the afterparty tonight.
Thank you to all the espeakers, especially my vieja Annn Romney. She really loves you women. And she loves to Unzip The Mitt!
POLLO RYAN. Pinche Eddie Munster rules! The viejitas fear him, but he promises eternal life, just let him bite your Medicare.
CHRIS CRISPY IS THE ONLY HOMBRE I KNOW WHO DEEP FRIES HIS NAILS BEFORE HE CHEWS ON THEM.
- The Best: On HBO, George Lopez told Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio WTF he really thinks of him and the offended officer challenged the comic to a face-to-face discussion of the issues.
- The Worst: The Aurora shooting raised a bat signal for gun control.
We’ve got the uncensored Lopez/Arpaio videos, the Lalo Alcaraz ‘Dark Knight’ cartoon that went viral and Comic-Con photos you won’t see anywhere else.
But wait, there’s more!
Thank you, NAACP for the invitation to espeak here, and Bishop Graves for your introduction. Thanks also to President Ben Jealous and your weird last name.
Good mornings, black humans. I am Mexican Mitt Romney. I know it is crazy to speak to you here at the NAACP, but guatever.
I will not be the Presidente for only the East Coast, or the West Coast. I do not believe in your geographic gang rivalries. I want to be the Presidente for all the people, but mainly the rich people. I know you already have Black Reagan as your Presidente, but hear me out.
Tomorrow Vice President Joe Biden will speak before you, please do not let him drink a 40-ouncer before he comes onstage, just sayin’. I won’t let any special interests like black people get in the way, whoops, that’s from my GOP nomination speech.
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) In an attempt to capitalize on the political gains made by Pres. Barack Obama’s support for gay marriage, Florida GOP senator and possible presidential candidate Marco Rubio has revamped his unpopular DREAM Act alternative.
The original federal DREAM Act allowed undocumented youth brought here as minors a path to citizenship if they served in the military or attended college. Rubio’s DREAM Act “lite” version offered these youth only a non-immigrant visa and permanent status as second-class citizens.
Now, hoping to suck off gay votes from Obama, Rubio has introduced the DREAMY Act.
Instead of wailing about this so-called “Wall Street reform” nonsense, I have decided to open my own bank and mega Wall Street trading firm: JP Mormon.
At JP Mormon, we promise to keep your money away from the risky trades of Wall Street and in safe, secure island strongholds.
We will also store your hard-earned trust fund payments in secret European locations, places where Michele Bachman once held dual citizenship.
The epic flying chanclas video topped the list of big estories on POCHO this week, but only just squeezed out the Mexclusive guest editorial by GOP nominee wannabe Mexican Mitt Romney, the latest chapter in the existential quest of Chuy and Smiley in Hey Vato! and very intimate advice from Dear Abuelita.
Here are the links:
As reported by the Miami Herald, there are about 8,000 reasons why Mitt Romney might not pick Florida’s Teabbagged Sen. Marco Rubio for as his running mate. Here are the top eight:
8. Sin Papeles. He’s illegal! It’s debatable who has the wetter back since Romney is from Mexico but Rubio is just as undocumented and some would argue more “deportable.” Rubio fled Cuba not because of the Revolución but because no one there could stand him. The guy’s an asshole.
More reasons and startling photographic evidence below.
That’s why GOP political insiders are urging the superwealthy robotic candidate to pick Holographic Tupac as his vice presidential running mate.
Holographic Tupac, they note, is way more lifelike than the GOP presidential candidate, although Mitt’s musical skills are nothing to scoff at.
“Tupac could be Mitt’s Joe Biden,” said one Romney campaign insider. “He has the common touch Mitt lacks and he’s big with the bitches. We think he might be the droid we are looking for.”
Dead or not, rapper Tupac Shakur (1971-1996) killed ’em in a short set at Coachella (video below.)
It’s no secret that Mitt “Self Deportation” Romney is not Latinos’ favorite presidential hopeful. Stephen Colbert explains the political realities and introduces a new Mitt Romney TV commercial.
POCHO has a Mexican Mitt Romney commercial too — and it’s a music video (below).
“Well, I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign. Everything changes,” Romney campaign advisor Eric Fehrnstrom said Wednesday on CNN. “It’s almost like an Etch A Sketch. You can kind of shake it up and restart all over again.”
POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz (in Southern California) and Migrant Editor Al Madrigal (in New York) Skyped away last week for POCHO’s first coast-to-coast podcast.
POCHO’s ñews team started the week in glossy Hollyweird and ended up scraping the crap off their shoes near Rush Limbaugh’s headquarters in La Floridita, but the big story of the week was the release of Mexican Mitt Romney’s music video/camapaign commercial.
Will the GOP wannabe become the nation’s first Latino president? And why does his MittShake bring all the viejas to yard? You’ll have to watch and figure it out yourself!
The Academy Awards were just around the corner from installation artist Ramiro Gomez Jr. so he made sure the neighborhood got to see normally-invisible Latino elements of the star-making machinery with a poignant installation on Hollywood Boulevard.
[If you liked the video, you can now own the song. Get it on iTunes ahora! Mexican Mitt's "(I Wanna Be) The First Latino President" ]
After sweeping both Arizona and Michigan –– he says it’s because the gringos won’t do it -– a certain South-of-the-Border candidate is clearing his way to “paint the White House brown!” The affable and mariachi-like Mexi-Mormon is a tough campaigner, and says he is “in it to guin it.” Mexican Mitt Romney, the Most Mexican Man in the World, wants to be the first Latino President. This is his story — in song.