(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) With the “fiscal cliff” crisis over, congressional Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi is joining the Obama Administration’s push for a Fiscal Clit stimulus.
“President Obama has been working every angle to deliver a really generous package that will provide the kind of stimulus America needs,” Pelosi told reporters after Tuesday night’s historic House vote. “The Fiscal Clit will provide a release for tense Americans everywhere, especially for women. This has been a long and hard process, and we’re glad to see it will have a happy ending.”
Republicans were quick to renounce Pelosi’s assertions.
“There is no such thing as a Fiscal Clit,” said GOP pundit Dick Chiquito on Fox News. “No one I spoke to in the Republican Party has ever encountered a Fiscal Clit, and we’ve checked binders full of women over the last 40 years.”
“The Fiscal Clit is real,” Connie Linguas, an economics professor at Vassar, told PNS, “and it will provide immediate relief for Americans. Some will experience multiple waves of relief, as opposed to that ‘trickle down’ approach, which is always such a disappointment.”
Linguas pointed to President Obama’s generous 2009 stimulus package, which was able to penetrate deeper and more masterfully into the economy than anything the GOP was able to whip out.
“Obama’s stimulus package was not only robust, he also knew how to use it,” continued Linguas wistfully. “And to refer to the previous tax cuts as ‘Bush era’ is quite the misnomer.”
“And just as in 2009, President Obama’s stimulus timing is impeccable. He is not only Mr. Right for this task, he is also Mr. Right Now!”
Obama has assembled a star-studded list of actors who have portrayed famous presidents to promote the Fiscal Clit and really make it surge.
“Daniel Day-Lewis, Martin Sheen, Frank Langella and Bill Murray will be calling millions of people across America, and we hope that their smooth voices can let the fingers do the walking on our Fiscal Clit stimulus,” said Pelosi.
Pelosi added that Obama and his team are prepared to roll up their sleeves and get their hands dirty to make the Fiscal Clit stimulus a reality.
“President Obama is not just providing lip service,” said Pelosi. “He knows how to get the job done. ”
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