PNS*Hot*Flash: Sequestration Proclamation frees the ‘Pedroes’

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) President Barack Obama today issued a “Sequestration Proclamation,” which authorizes the freeing of an additional 300 undocumented immigrants from detention centers around the country in advance of looming budget cuts.

While Republicans claimed the freeing of these so-called “Pedroes” would lead to the total collapse of the U.S. economy, the only immediate impact has been the creation of 900 new jobs.

Obama is being hailed as “The Great Sequestrator” by Latinos around the country, and Obama-themed corridos are already staples on Mexican radio.

Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: Sequestration Proclamation frees the ‘Pedroes’

Obama, Pelosi hook up to urge ‘Fiscal Clit’ stimulus

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) With the “fiscal cliff” crisis over, congressional Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi is joining the Obama Administration’s push for a Fiscal Clit stimulus.

President Obama has been working every angle to deliver a really generous package that will provide the kind of stimulus America needs,” Pelosi told reporters after Tuesday night’s historic House vote. “The Fiscal Clit will provide a release for tense Americans everywhere, especially for women.  This has been a long and hard process, and we’re glad to see it will have a happy ending.”

Republicans were quick to renounce Pelosi’s assertions.

“There is no such thing as a Fiscal Clit,” said GOP pundit Dick Chiquito on Fox News. “No one I spoke to in the Republican Party has ever encountered a Fiscal Clit, and we’ve checked binders full of women over the last 40 years.”

Mas…Obama, Pelosi hook up to urge ‘Fiscal Clit’ stimulus