(PNS reporting from FLORIDA) Neighborhood Watch volunteers across the nation’s gated communities are posting Twitter photos of Naked Geraldo to frighten off dangerous junk food-toting hoodie-wearing kids.
Award-winning journalist Geraldo Rivera, who proclaimed in his initial Tweet that “Seventy is the new Sexty,” snapped the nude photo of himself in the bathroom in order to fight the rampant scourge of black teen crime.
In the wake of the child-killer George Zimmerman’s acquittal in the homicide of Trayvon Martin, the support for crushing “Black On Sidewalk” crime has been boosted by law abiding citizens everywhere, and the Naked Geraldo photo has been a big help.
Preliminary stats show the photo has reduced Walking While Black crime by 3000% in Florida, and by numbers so high that people across the South have trouble even repeating them.
Foot traffic by teens Walking While Black and Sitting While Black at Florida’s malls and shopping centers has been cut in half wherever the horrifying photo has been posted.
“This is the new ‘classical music’ for our malls,” said Head of Mall Security Paul Blart at Sanford, Florida’s Seminole Towne Centre Mall. “Speakers blaring Beethoven can’t beat a photo of Geraldo Rivera threatening to show his ball sack when it comes to scaring off dangerous black gangsta mall rats.”
Naked Geraldo warns gangsta thug teens who dare to Walk While Black with his photo, saying, “I got a woody for your hoodie,” Blart said.
The Neighborhood Watch organization that has been posting the photo across Florida has announced that it is changing its name to Neighborhood Blind.