Expect these Pocho Ocho surprises in tonight’s State of the Union

obamabackWashington insiders all know tonight’s State of the Union address — like every one before — will bring a few surprises.

We asked around town, and our peeps say these are the top eight to watch for:

8. First use of the Booger-Cam™ captures candid live video of bored Republicans

7. Warmup act Oprah Winfrey to Congress: “You get a drone…and you get a drone. Everybody gets a drone!”

6. Obama cruises to the Capitol in a clean 1953 Packard limousine, a gift from the people of Cuba

Mas…Expect these Pocho Ocho surprises in tonight’s State of the Union

Los Pochodores: Our Pocho Ocho Top New Year’s Resolutions

resolutionWe asked the POCHO posse to share their New Year’s Resolutions for 2015. After the responses came in, we picked the best answers, and then carefully removed all the information that could personally identify the authors because El Cucuy.

And so we present Los Pochodores’ Pocho Ocho Top New Year Revolutions:

8. Update my Nahuatl name to reflect my aspirations.

7. Get in shape for the Grito Contest at Charro Days.

6. Start a frijoles community garden for my locavore needs.

Mas…Los Pochodores: Our Pocho Ocho Top New Year’s Resolutions