Pocho Ocho things to eat that are way worse for you than bacon

fryingbaconanimatedBacon is makin’ news because a questionably-reported study says the hot and salty candy can cause cancer – or not. They say we had to ditch the bacon, but we said, “No! No! No!”

That’s because there are Pocho Ocho Top Things You Can Eat That Are Way Worse Than Bacon:

8. Bush™  special frijoles — THE BROWN ONES™ — now with 25% more nepotism! [Editor’s Note: Our sources tell us this product may not be on the market much longer. Choose wisely.]

7. Uncle Ben Carson’s Tacos de Seso

6. Ferguson’s Gelato – You’ll be screaming, “Hands up! Don’t scoop!”

Mas…Pocho Ocho things to eat that are way worse for you than bacon

Happy July 4! How and why to spiral-cut your wiener (50-second video)


Is this one of these videos where you say to yourself, “Some people have way too much time on their hands”? And what kind of man spiral-cuts his wiener and then has nothing to say NOT ONE WORD about bacon and chiles and crema and stuff? Is this 50 seconds of culinary wizardry that will change your approach to hot dogs forever or is it an insult to every cholo, ruca and junior who worked so hard to make the Sonoran dog the new black?

How do you cut, cook and serve your frankfurters?

Local man ‘sick and tired of sh*t breaking down and falling apart’

bobbyfigueroa(PNS reporting from ROUTE 66) Area resident Bobby Figueroa is “so totally sick and tired” of the effects of the Second Law of Thermodynamics that he plans to fight the entropy, friends report.

People close to the situation say Figueroa began complaining about the universal tendency of elements in a closed system to flow to an increasingly disordered or entropic state last Thursday, the day he endured a flat tire, a broken tooth and repeated loss-of-signal during a hot game of “Words With Friends.”

“This shit is getting old,” Figueroa, 38, told his dinner companions at Babosa’s Route 66 Diner in Barstow after an evening of bowling in which he broke a nail and tore a shoelace.

Mas…Local man ‘sick and tired of sh*t breaking down and falling apart’