TO: ALL POCHO ESTAFF MEMBERS
FROM: JOSÉ CANUSÍ, JEFE-DE-HR
DATE: MARCH 11, 2020
RE: CORONA VIRUS PRECAUTIONS
Your lives are somewhat important to us. That's why we've instituted eight new prophylactic measures to reduce estaff exposure to some possibly dangerous germs and shit.
Here are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways We're Fighting the Corona Virus:
8. The 11AM editorial meeting, usually held at BarrioBucks, has been moved to the Wuhan Wok restaurant next door because they value our business, whereas BB won't let us forget that chanclazo in December.
7. Please see me for your choice of luchador masks and/or dog cones to help you not touch your face.
6. Hand sanitizing stations have been installed around the office that dispense Vicks® VapoRub™.
Rosbeef! (Slogan: We’re creative and we have common sense; how cool is that!?) came up with a marketing combo plate of an Old El Paso Restaurante taco truck, taco selfies and the hashtag #1PHOTOPOUR1TACO. Share a photo with the hashtag, they said, and get a free taco made with El Paso stuff and a digital coupon to buy El Paso products at the market. ¡Que rico! Ooh la la tambien aussi!
Here’s the “case study” video:
When you and a newly-released ex-con drive through the desert in a car with no name, watch out for Danny Trejo. L.A. homies SadGirl serve up a stunning video with a bloody love story for the moody surf guitar instrumental Norma and Jessica.
Jon Stewart and The Daily Show are in Austin, Texas, which is right next to, well, you know … that other country. POCHO’s Migrant Editor Al Madrigal went to the Lone Star State to find out why exactly Texans think Latinos are worse than Koreans and Chinese. Have we mentioned that Al is EL HOMBRE?
Danny Trejo is not so tough when it comes to goats. It’s The Guzman Show!
PREVIOUSLY ON DANNY TREJO AND/OR ARMS OF AN ANGEL:
We don’t know what to make of this video from Danny Trejo, where the machete-wielding movie tough guy reveals an improbable hobby: making Breadanimals. It’s a promo, somehow, for his new flick, Bullet, but it seems less funny than awkward and forced.
He doesn’t look like a happy camper to us. What do you think?
PREVIOUSLY ON DANNY TREJO, WE’RE HAPPY TO REMIND YOU ABOUT ONE OF THE GREATEST ONLINE PROMO VIDEOS EVER MADE THAT TAKES A LONG TIME FOR THE *FLASH* FILE TO LOAD BUT IS TOTALLY WORTH IT SO HANG IN THERE:
They were ordinary people living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstance conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.
When a liberal Supreme Court justice retired in 1998, Pres. Jed H. W. Bartlet and his staff thought this was the perfect opportunity to increase approval ratings with a politically “safe” nominee, Judge Peyton Harrison.
The retiring justice was not impressed by Bartlet’s choice and urged him to consider another candidate. Bartlet asked his aide Toby Ziegler to review their decision. Ziegler, after walking and talking with other habitues of the West Wing, was uncomfortable with the prospect of losing the easy confirmation, but complied.
Zeigler learned that Harrison once argued against a Constitutional right to privacy, and told Bartlet a backup candidate should be vetted as a possible replacement nominee.
U.S. President Charlie Sheen is in big pinche trouble with Mexican terrorist Mel Gibson, and there’s only one vato who can help. Danny Trejo returns in Robert Rodriguez’s Machete Kills.
(PNS reporting from EL BRONX) Almost every adult American remembers where they were on Sept. 11, 2001, but few remember more vividly than Bronx janitor Alberto Qaeda.
“That was the first time I ever got my ass kicked. And the second time. And the third,” recalls Qaeda, who used to go by the more informal name of “Al.”
Qaeda (photo), who was 17 in 2001, was a student at City College of New York studying to be a cashier when the first plane crashed into the World Trade Center.