TO: ALL POCHO ESTAFF MEMBERS
FROM: JOSÉ CANUSÍ, JEFE-DE-HR
DATE: MARCH 11, 2020
RE: CORONA VIRUS PRECAUTIONS
Your lives are somewhat important to us. That's why we've instituted eight new prophylactic measures to reduce estaff exposure to some possibly dangerous germs and shit.
Here are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways We're Fighting the Corona Virus:
8. The 11AM editorial meeting, usually held at BarrioBucks, has been moved to the Wuhan Wok restaurant next door because they value our business, whereas BB won't let us forget that chanclazo in December.
7. Please see me for your choice of luchador masks and/or dog cones to help you not touch your face.
6. Hand sanitizing stations have been installed around the office that dispense Vicks® VapoRub™.
5. If you think you have been exposed to the virus, you are eligible for free testing at the medical offices of Malcolm Mex M.D. While you're there, do not ask if Viagra is right for you, and that means you, Lil Joker.
4. Papel higienico is a limited resource -- who knew? See me for your own personal roll of TP.
3. In an abundance of caution, we regret to inform you that companion/therapy/emotional support snakes are no longer allowed in the office.
2. Two Words: Dos Equis.
And the Numero Uno Top Way We're Fighting the Corona Virus is ...
If you are self-quarantined and working from home via Eskype, enter the promo code MACHETE at the prompt for a free lunch delivery from Trejo's Tacos. Only promo code submissions via the application will work. MACHETE don't text.
- Medical mask photo courtesy U.S. Air Force
- Trejo’s Tacos photo © Comic Saenz.