TO: ALL POCHO ESTAFF MEMBERS
FROM: JOSÉ CANUSÍ, JEFE-DE-HR
DATE: MARCH 11, 2020
RE: CORONA VIRUS PRECAUTIONS
Your lives are somewhat important to us. That's why we've instituted eight new prophylactic measures to reduce estaff exposure to some possibly dangerous germs and shit.
Here are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways We're Fighting the Corona Virus:
8. The 11AM editorial meeting, usually held at BarrioBucks, has been moved to the Wuhan Wok restaurant next door because they value our business, whereas BB won't let us forget that chanclazo in December.
7. Please see me for your choice of luchador masks and/or dog cones to help you not touch your face.
6. Hand sanitizing stations have been installed around the office that dispense Vicks® VapoRub™.
POCHO’s favorite Mexico-inspired Canadian band, The Mariachi Ghost, has new album and new music video.
Cuerpo Mortal starts out in Art Laboe’s Sunday night Latin soul oldies mode but soon moves into a dark metaphor:
El Santo, the Vimeo description says, is a “Real New-Mexican Story for Real Lovers.” We’ve watched it a buncha times and were not sure what it means or if we are one of those “real lovers” in the intended audience, but we like what we see. [Video by K48 PRODUCTIONS … in Milano of all places.] Also, be careful of strangely glowing cocktails with with bugs inside.
(PNS reporting from NOGALES) Mexico Presidential front-runner Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador (AMLO) will deploy the country’s finest and fiercest lucha libre fighters to the northern border should U.S. President Donald Trump carry out his pledge to militarize the nations’ shared international boundary, the candidate known as AMLO said in a press conference on Wednesday.
Got back pain? Neck pain? Need an adjustment? Rompe Espalda Luchapractic combines the latest in quack-approved chiropractic treatment with the ancient art of Mexican wrestling. They’ve got some moves for you! [Video by Crooked & Ugly.]
“The mask is the most important accessory in lucha libre because the mask makes a warrior,” according Magno, a luchador for over 20 years.
Luchadores place such a premium on their in-ring personas that they refuse to reveal their identities whenever they appear at an event. The mask draws from Mexican history in which Mayans and Aztecs warriors would complete for superiority.
“They used to paint their faces to symbolize the warrior because they used to fight against each other to become the god, to become the top one,” according to Magno.
Pittsburgh pendejo Sam Polinsky moved to Mexico to get a job as lucha libre bad guy — a “rudo.” How rude can you go? He’s a Trumpista!
The National (United Arab Emirates) explains:
Lucha libre is no longer just for men, as Marcela and her friends explain to the BBC.
Cassandra is the “Queen of the Ring,” a champion wrestler in drag – not that there’s anything wrong with that.
PREVIOUSLY ON CASSANDRA:
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.
The Big Fancy Coloring Book offers something special for odd grownups, peculiar kids, and lovers of absurd drawings of tacos, Frida Kahlo and/or Chiquita Banana and/or Carmen Miranda, luchadores and armadillos. It’s the latest creative product from our mysterious amigo, The Painter of Arizona Light, whose Internet spokespern is known as El Rey Del Art (so-called self portrait, above).
We’ve secured especial permission to share four of El Rey’s droppings here:
Speaking of underwear, I wear black lucha libre chonies because that’s how I feel inside. This is a real product, as manufacturer WrassleRoos esplains:
“Lucha Libre – or free fighting – is a Mexican style of wrestling,” writes the BBC World Service. “Katinka Herbert documents the secret lives of these so-called luchadores known for their outlandish outfits and garish masks.”
Luchador El Hijo del Fantasma says he and wrestling partner Vladimir Putin would beat President Obama and Mexican Presidente Enrique Peña Nieto in a tag team match.
Young luchadora wannabe Frida (check her eyebrows) has trouble finding success in the ring – until she finds herself and becomes The Flying Tomato.