TO: ALL POCHO ESTAFF MEMBERS
FROM: JOSÉ CANUSÍ, JEFE-DE-HR
DATE: MARCH 11, 2020
RE: CORONA VIRUS PRECAUTIONS
Your lives are somewhat important to us. That's why we've instituted eight new prophylactic measures to reduce estaff exposure to some possibly dangerous germs and shit.
Here are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways We're Fighting the Corona Virus:
8. The 11AM editorial meeting, usually held at BarrioBucks, has been moved to the Wuhan Wok restaurant next door because they value our business, whereas BB won't let us forget that chanclazo in December.
7. Please see me for your choice of luchador masks and/or dog cones to help you not touch your face.
6. Hand sanitizing stations have been installed around the office that dispense Vicks® VapoRub™.
“The mask is the most important accessory in lucha libre because the mask makes a warrior,” according Magno, a luchador for over 20 years.
Luchadores place such a premium on their in-ring personas that they refuse to reveal their identities whenever they appear at an event. The mask draws from Mexican history in which Mayans and Aztecs warriors would complete for superiority.
“They used to paint their faces to symbolize the warrior because they used to fight against each other to become the god, to become the top one,” according to Magno.
Orders were flooding in to the Caretas REV factory Wednesday (Grupo REV; Ghoulish Productions, Caretas REV, Plásticos y Vinilos REV, Todo Para Halloween, Monster House, La Karpa de la Parka) for latex masks depicting Donald Trump.
“The Zorro story, invented in 1919 by pulp fiction author Johnston McCulley, tells the tale of an aristocrat in Spanish California who dons a mask to fight against corrupt colonial officials on behalf of the oppressed,” writes Marlon Bishop of Latino USA.
Not now, Mom — I’m overthrowing the government! (Photo by whatdoesthefawkessay.)
PREVIOUSLY ON ANONYMOUS:
A storm is percolating in the southern Japanese city of Oita, where a politician a la Santo Enmascarado refuses to take off his luchador mask in order to attend city council meetings.
The council members are prohibiting newly-elected Skull Reaper A-Ji from participating in city business unless he is unmasked. Reaper A-Ji refuses to give into the demand, explaining that without his mask he is someone else.
Jesus drinks Corona, of course, and tacos, taquitos and burritos are on the menu in this painting of the Last Fiesta by Pale Horse, a fine art illustrator. Who is that drinking Tecate?
Pale Horse writes:
The Last Fiesta’ is my 12-skateboard deck shout-out to Leonardo da Vinci’s ‘The Last Supper’ with Jesus Christos and his 12 Luchador apostles getting down one last time. This piece was created for my solo exhibit Saints & Sinners, here at the Pale Horse Studio. Hand-made shadow box by Casey Paquet.
The late, “despicable” wrestling pocho Eddie Guerrero insists opponent Rey Mysterio seat his son Dominic Mysterio ringside — so the son will witness Guerrero’s trimumph over his dad, up close and personal. Will Mysterio be so pre-occupied with his son’s safety that he’ll lose focus and let Guerrero’s distraction trick work its evil magic?
Evil wrestling superstar Eddie Guerrero? Wikipedia has the deets: