Pocho Ocho Top Things To Expect If We Had A Mexican President

Tio Bernie? Uncle Joe? I guess. But call me a dreamer because I’m still holding out hope for a late but successful third-party Mexican American presidential bid. I can already see the first 100 days unfolding….

Mira the Pocho Ocho Top Things To Expect If We Had A Mexican President:

8. Secret Service detail replaced by cousins and their pitbulls.

7. Border wall built around Texas to keep Tex-Mex recipes from emigrating.

6. All veteranos are eligible for VA benefits.

Mas…Pocho Ocho Top Things To Expect If We Had A Mexican President

Play ball! Five tips to survive Los Doyers 2013

Baseball season starts Monday. For me, it means six months of praying and hoping that the Dodgers can turn their billion-dollar payroll into championship glory.

Those Dodger games can be expensive and explosive. There is nothing better than sitting through the United States’ answer to the soccer (including riots if you show up wearing the wrong cap.) So here is a guide to surviving your outing with Los Doyers.

TIP #1: Be prompt: The reason you want to be there is merely for seating. With the right kind of heart, you can treat the experience like an event with general admission. Do not get greedy.

If you have nosebleed ZZZ tickets, don’t try to sneak in to the A+ section behind luminary celebrities like Fred Savage or one of the Real Housewives. Row G is good enough. Most Dodger fans do not show until the fourth inning anyway. Do not get disheartened if you get kicked out by the real owner. Just pretend to be confused and act like my Tia Chicha trying to set up a DVR. Then be brazen and try to slide into Row F.

Mas…Play ball! Five tips to survive Los Doyers 2013