Pocho Ocho Top Things To Expect If We Had A Mexican President

Tio Bernie? Uncle Joe? I guess. But call me a dreamer because I’m still holding out hope for a late but successful third-party Mexican American presidential bid. I can already see the first 100 days unfolding….

Mira the Pocho Ocho Top Things To Expect If We Had A Mexican President:

8. Secret Service detail replaced by cousins and their pitbulls.

7. Border wall built around Texas to keep Tex-Mex recipes from emigrating.

6. All veteranos are eligible for VA benefits.

5. The IRS makes life hell for Taco Bell, Del Taco, El Pollo Loco, and Chipotle.

4. “Government cheese” now offers Cotija and Queso de Pata varieties.

3. Saves White House maintenance expenditures by personally cutting the lawn at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue every Saturday morning at 6 AM.

2. Guantanamo renamed Gauntanamera and then closed.

And The Top Thing To Expect If We Had A Mexican President is…

Meets and greets Los Doyers instead of the actual World Champions… year after year after year.


  • Carlos Aguilar is a writer, producer, and social media strategist. He currently works at Quantasy and Associates, a creative agency in Los Angeles, where he spearheads social content and strategy for Kevin Hart’s Laugh Out Loud Network. Check out his fatherhood blog at bigbrowndad.com.
  • World War II U.S. propaganda poster by Leo Helguera.