Pocho Ocho Top Things To Expect If We Had A Mexican President

Tio Bernie? Uncle Joe? I guess. But call me a dreamer because I’m still holding out hope for a late but successful third-party Mexican American presidential bid. I can already see the first 100 days unfolding….

Mira the Pocho Ocho Top Things To Expect If We Had A Mexican President:

8. Secret Service detail replaced by cousins and their pitbulls.

7. Border wall built around Texas to keep Tex-Mex recipes from emigrating.

6. All veteranos are eligible for VA benefits.

Mas…Pocho Ocho Top Things To Expect If We Had A Mexican President

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Is Cinco de Mayo Fake News?

Yesterday, mijo ask me gwhy peoples celebrate the Cinco de Mayo.

“Is because of the Battle of Puebla,” I tole him.

“Do people in Mexico get borrachos and crazy like they do here in the United States?”

“Crazy? No. The kids get day off from eschool and then some mens dresses up in the pueblo of Puebla and play like is the battle happening again.”

“No crazy borrachos?”

“No, is more like kids eating candy and washing TV.”

“Is it about Mexican people being proud of their culture?”

“No,” I say. “I’m no proud of gringos gwearing sombreros and eating chimichangas.”

“Are chimichangas Mexican?”

“I don know. I never ate one,” I say. “But the gringos love to eat the food with all the cheez I don know what it is.”

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Is Cinco de Mayo Fake News?

Mexican Food in Slo-Mo: Burrito Mariachi promo video

Burrito Mariachi Mexican Grill, with three location on New York’s Long Island, posted a sexy slo-mo video of their food preparation. Try not to drool as you watch flying lechuga, grilling carne asada, guacamole in production, salsa from scratch, a cold bar, a hot bar, chopping cebollas, two kinds of arroz, frijoles, pico de gallo, and gigantic burritos being assembled. What’s for lunch by the way? Let’s get Mexican! [Video by JING.]

Food Fight! Fan de la Cultura vs gigantic ‘machetes’ in DF (video)

Fan de la Cultura is a macho vato, but can he handle los machetes? These two-foot-long quesadillas are filled with a pound-and-a-half of carne de res and chorizo and different quesos and pollos and guisados and jamon and chicharrones and frijoles, well you get the picture. We looked it up on the Google: That’s 24 oz of stuff per machete. Will our hero be the first person since 1964 to eat three of these beasts in one sitting at Los Machetes Amparo in Mexico D.F.? More math: Three machetes at 1.5 pounds each equals 4.5 pounds total, or 72 ounces. ¡Buen provecho, Fan de la Cultura!

Area executive thinks about delicious lunch torta all day long

hungryguy(PNS reporting from LAREDO) District III Regional Supervisor Pablo Gutierrez, 35, could not wait for yesterday’s pinche lunch break to begin so he could buy a firme torta at Joaquin’s Lonchera.

“Tortas were all I could think about,” the middle management exec told PNS Monday evening.

“I mean, when Andy from Financing handed me all those reports, I said ‘thanks’ but I was really imagining that he was a giant slice of avocado in my torta.”

Mas…Area executive thinks about delicious lunch torta all day long

Chef Lindsay: How do you make fried kee-so tacos at El Cortez?

They look scrumptious — especially the cheese that she crisps on the grill at El Cortez — but please, Chef Lindsay Porter, it’s kay-so, not kee-so! To be fair, El Cortez is in Edmonton, Alberta, Canadia, where they call their dollars “Loonies.” PRO TIP: Cortez is NOT a Mexican hero, unless you mean the Nike Cortez.

Mas…Chef Lindsay: How do you make fried kee-so tacos at El Cortez?

Ask A Mexican: Why do Mexicans hate yellow cheese so much? (video)

mexicheeseWhen POCHO’s Associate Naranjero, the esteemed Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano, watched the video of BuzzFeed feeding Taco Bell to actual Mexicans (photo), he knew he needed to set the record straight regarding the yellow cheese that tops lots of Mexican-American food. Because queso, k no? Yellow cheese, says Gus, has an honorable history — and pocho cred. Also, BuzzFeed, FYI: Burritos, white rice and flour tortillas ARE “Mexican food,” doh!

Gus wrote the book, you know. Literally. It’s called TACO USA (How Mexican Food Conquered America).  

And now, prepare your device and your mind will follow.

Why do Mexicans hate yellow cheese so much? (the video)

Mas…Ask A Mexican: Why do Mexicans hate yellow cheese so much? (video)

Speedy Gonzales vs Daffy Duck: ‘Well-Worn Daffy’ (1965 video)

Mexico’s fastest mouse, Speedy Gonzales, is lost and thirsty in the desert. Luckily, he stumbles across a water well. Unluckily, the well belongs to Daffy Duck.

Taco Bell plans poetry-grilled ‘Verso-Quesarito-Burrito’

elpoetryburrito(PNS reporting from CHICAGO) Cheesy burrito fans and hashtag activists, your prayers have been answered! Taco Bell will debut a new menu item Monday – the Verso-Quesarito-Burrito, a burrito wrapped in a quesadilla with Mexican poetry written on the tortilla.

The VQB is a ground “beef” burrito with rice, chipotle sauce and reduced-fat sour cream in a grilled quesadilla full of melted American cheese.

You can also order the quesadilla-burrito hybrid with shredded chicken or steak. As an added bonus, the Verso-Quesarito-Burrito will feature poems written on the tortilla by Mexican day laborers. They’ll be versifying using only gluten-free ink, of course (photo.)

Mas…Taco Bell plans poetry-grilled ‘Verso-Quesarito-Burrito’

Taco Tuesday Video: Tacos El Yaqui Perrones, Rosarito, Baja

tacotuesdayIn Rosarita, Baja Mexico, every day is taco Tuesday at Tacos El Yaqui Perrones, where the specialty of the house is wood-grilled flank steak piled on melted cheesy flour tortillas. These are not just tacos WITH cheese. The cheese is not an afterthought, not a garnish. Melted cheese on a flour tortilla (are we not talking a grilled cheese sammich here aka quesadilla?) is the critical taste and texture infrastructure upon which the oak wood flame-broiled carne is arrayed. These are cheese + steak tacos. On white.

IMHO, these tacos are the Philadelphia cheesesteaks of Mexico. I’m originally from South Philly so that’s a compliment!

The only thing that could make the tacos in this video more appetizing would be Smell-O-Vison, or, maybe, Cheese-Whiz:

Mas…Taco Tuesday Video: Tacos El Yaqui Perrones, Rosarito, Baja

When you can’t bear life without nachos, you need nachos tattoos

Some people can’t get through the morning with a cup of coffee, and others, apparently, can’t get through the day without delicious crunchy oozing-with-queso nachos:

We love nachos. Duh. We want to show it on our arms, legs, and face. Stains are not permanent enough, while permanent tattoos are against our religions.

So they made temporary nachos “tattoo” decals.

Would you get them? Wear them?

Thanks to BoingBoing for the link!