Pocho Ocho top ways to tell if your new neighbors are terrorists

pinholeThose new neighbors, you know, those people down the hall or across the street — where do they come from? What’s that crazy moon language? What are they up to? If you see something, say something.

Here are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways to Tell If Your New Neighbors Are Terrorists:

8. Since sunset on Sunday, they’ve been burning more and more candles every night and singing in a Middle Eastern language.

7. They instruct their children — even pre-K kids — in violent martial arts, regularly staging practice backyard executions where children swinging war sticks decapitate colorful paper effigies strung up for torture.

6. Suspiciously clean-cut young men in shirts and ties living in the house regularly head out on bikes for neighborhood surveillance, knock on doors to see who is home, and take copious notes after every encounter.

Mas…Pocho Ocho top ways to tell if your new neighbors are terrorists

Mexican Mitt Romney: My Pocho Ocho top Tweets from England

Ann is having having trouble taking dictation (her Blackberries are on the wrong side of the estreet or something) so here are my personal Pocho Ocho Top Tweets from England for ustedes:

8. Mexican Mitt Romney: DAMN THERE’S A LOT OF MUSLIMS HERE

7. Mexican Mitt Romney: WE’RE GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS IN DRESSAGE, BEECHES

6. Mexican Mitt Romney: WHERE’S THE NEAREST CHICK-A-FILA?

Mas…Mexican Mitt Romney: My Pocho Ocho top Tweets from England

Food safety cops spot mysterious (Mexican?) CACA ‘intruder virus’

Two modifications were found in chile DNA -- are they a clue to the 'intruder virus' creator?
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) The anti-import National Food Safety Workshop (NFSW) here claims a dangerous foreign food virus is infecting Caucasian-American digestive systems nationwide.

The comida cops say the virus is spread by manipulating the DNA of four foods native to Mexico — chiles, avocado, corn and agave.

“We’re calling it the CACA Virus,” says NFSW chief researcher Dr. Creflo Smith-Buster. “It’s something we had hoped we’d never see – a genetically-modified steaming turd of an illegal alien scientific conundrum on the pristine white floor of a American lab.”

Mas…Food safety cops spot mysterious (Mexican?) CACA ‘intruder virus’