[April breaks global temperature record, marking seven months of new highs.]
Screw your liberal “climate change” answer that’s really a code word so-called “progressives” use to steal from people who work for a living instead of sucking Obamacare’s socialist welfare titties.
Where has all of California’s water gone?
It’s the immigrants, stupid!
Victor David Hanson reports for the National Review:
On News Channel 8, right before the 5-Day Forecast, there was an impassioned plea for real news. Not that fake news about Miley Cyrus. Or Ñews. Call it an exploration of the through-the-looking-glass world of media making media mocking media, where everything you know is wrong. There’s a signpost up ahead, in the POCHO Zone.
PREVIOUSLY ON TV NEWS:
We’re not climate scientists but we’re pretty sure it rains a lot more in Mexico than in, say, Saudi Arabia. Here’s why.
PREVIOUSLY ON TELEVISION:
The fast food chain goes through 97,000 pounds of avocados every day, and they’re concerned.
PREVIOUSLY ON POLAR VORTEX:
(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) The “so-called Polar Vortex is a hoax” according to a statement just released here by the American Paletero Association (APA.)
“It’s always paleta weather,” the statement said. “Listen to APA: It’s never too cold for ICE.”
“Also,” APA warned, “don’t eat the yellow raspa.”
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.
Hurricane Marco Rubio is headed up the East Coast, bringing havoc and destruction wherever he makes landfall.
You may not even need the English subtitles to understand this short Esperanto-language animation from England, but here’s a cheat sheet: Mother Earth AKA Gaia seems to be doing fine until Humanity comes along. Is her decline inevitable, or is there Espero?
(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) Carmen Reinhart and Kenneth Rogoff, authors of the mathematically-challenged Growth in a Time of Debt pro-“austerity” study, and Jason Richwine, the Heritage Foundation researcher who claimed Hispanics have lower IQs, are the recipients of the 2013 Carlos Castaneda Award for Academic Bullshit, it was announced today.
The prize is named for the Peruvian-born UCLA anthropologist and cult leader who wrote several best-selling books about a Yaqui brujo that were marketed as truth but turned out to be bullshit. It’s presented annually to “those academic authors who manage to fool some of the people some of the time.”
The award, which features a $19.99 monthly stipend and a year’s supply of vegetarian “sausage” for the winners, is a community project of the Soyrizo Foundation of Los Angeles, which is “dedicated to recognizing and celebrating phony-ass shit wherever we find it, with a spicy Latin flair,” executive vice president Penn O. Kehoe said in a foundation press release.
(PNS reporting from SACRAMENTO) Repeating his “small is beautiful” mantra from the 1970s, California Gov. Jerry Brown has taken steps to ban burritos that weigh more than one pound.
“We’re facing an obesity epidemic in the Golden State,” Brown told a press conference here this morning, “and I wouldn’t be the guy who shtupped Latina Linda Ronstadt back in the day if I didn’t travel to the beat of a different drum.”
Brown has issued an executive order directing inspectors from Cal/OSHA (the California Occupational Hazard and Safety Administration) to cite and penalize restaurants that serve massive San Francisco-style “Mission burritos.”