global warming
La Cucaracha: April was the warmest month on record (toon)
[April breaks global temperature record, marking seven months of new highs.]
Breaking the Ñews: Massive immigration caused California drought
Where has all the water gone?
Screw your liberal “climate change” answer that’s really a code word so-called “progressives” use to steal from people who work for a living instead of sucking Obamacare’s socialist welfare titties.
Where has all of California’s water gone?
It’s the immigrants, stupid!
Victor David Hanson reports for the National Review:
Mas…Breaking the Ñews: Massive immigration caused California drought
Spring nourishes bumper Swiss spaghetti crop (BBC video)
Global warming — and an early warm Spring — means a bountiful spaghetti harvest in Switzerland’s pasta-growing regions near the border with Italy. The BBC reports.
Hey, News Channel 8 dude: Where is the REAL news? (video)
On News Channel 8, right before the 5-Day Forecast, there was an impassioned plea for real news. Not that fake news about Miley Cyrus. Or Ñews. Call it an exploration of the through-the-looking-glass world of media making media mocking media, where everything you know is wrong. There’s a signpost up ahead, in the POCHO Zone.
PREVIOUSLY ON TV NEWS:
Mas…Hey, News Channel 8 dude: Where is the REAL news? (video)
Why does it rain in Mexico but not the Middle East? (video)
We’re not climate scientists but we’re pretty sure it rains a lot more in Mexico than in, say, Saudi Arabia. Here’s why.
PREVIOUSLY ON TELEVISION:
Mas…Why does it rain in Mexico but not the Middle East? (video)
BBC Video: Early spring nourishes bumper Swiss spaghetti crop
Global warming — and an early warm Spring — means a bountiful spaghetti harvest in Switzerland’s pasta-growing regions near the border with Italy. The BBC reports.
Chipotle warns of climate-change-caused avocado shortage
If the Planet Earth continues to heat up, that’s bad news for avocados, the Chipotle Mexican Grill people warn. Bottom line? Your guac might be fuacked.
The fast food chain goes through 97,000 pounds of avocados every day, and they’re concerned.
From The Smithsonian Magazine:
Mas…Chipotle warns of climate-change-caused avocado shortage
American Paletero Association calls Polar Vortex ‘a hoax’
(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) The “so-called Polar Vortex is a hoax” according to a statement just released here by the American Paletero Association (APA.)
“It’s always paleta weather,” the statement said. “Listen to APA: It’s never too cold for ICE.”
“Also,” APA warned, “don’t eat the yellow raspa.”
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.
Hurricane Marco Rubio on path of destruction, havoc (video)
Hurricane Marco Rubio is headed up the East Coast, bringing havoc and destruction wherever he makes landfall.
Is it too late for Mother Earth? Is there ‘Espero?’ (Esperanto video)
You may not even need the English subtitles to understand this short Esperanto-language animation from England, but here’s a cheat sheet: Mother Earth AKA Gaia seems to be doing fine until Humanity comes along. Is her decline inevitable, or is there Espero?
Flash: Three authors get Castaneda Research Bullshit Award
(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) Carmen Reinhart and Kenneth Rogoff, authors of the mathematically-challenged Growth in a Time of Debt pro-“austerity” study, and Jason Richwine, the Heritage Foundation researcher who claimed Hispanics have lower IQs, are the recipients of the 2013 Carlos Castaneda Award for Academic Bullshit, it was announced today.
The prize is named for the Peruvian-born UCLA anthropologist and cult leader who wrote several best-selling books about a Yaqui brujo that were marketed as truth but turned out to be bullshit. It’s presented annually to “those academic authors who manage to fool some of the people some of the time.”
The award, which features a $19.99 monthly stipend and a year’s supply of vegetarian “sausage” for the winners, is a community project of the Soyrizo Foundation of Los Angeles, which is “dedicated to recognizing and celebrating phony-ass shit wherever we find it, with a spicy Latin flair,” executive vice president Penn O. Kehoe said in a foundation press release.
Mas…Flash: Three authors get Castaneda Research Bullshit Award
PNS*Hot*Flash: California Gov. Jerry Brown bans big burritos
(PNS reporting from SACRAMENTO) Repeating his “small is beautiful” mantra from the 1970s, California Gov. Jerry Brown has taken steps to ban burritos that weigh more than one pound.
“We’re facing an obesity epidemic in the Golden State,” Brown told a press conference here this morning, “and I wouldn’t be the guy who shtupped Latina Linda Ronstadt back in the day if I didn’t travel to the beat of a different drum.”
Brown has issued an executive order directing inspectors from Cal/OSHA (the California Occupational Hazard and Safety Administration) to cite and penalize restaurants that serve massive San Francisco-style “Mission burritos.”
Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: California Gov. Jerry Brown bans big burritos
Save the planet, stop illegal immigration (Colbert Report video)
Liberals and conservatives agree — immigrants cause global warning and poison the political atmosphere!
Local man ‘sick and tired of sh*t breaking down and falling apart’
(PNS reporting from ROUTE 66) Area resident Bobby Figueroa is “so totally sick and tired” of the effects of the Second Law of Thermodynamics that he plans to fight the entropy, friends report.
People close to the situation say Figueroa began complaining about the universal tendency of elements in a closed system to flow to an increasingly disordered or entropic state last Thursday, the day he endured a flat tire, a broken tooth and repeated loss-of-signal during a hot game of “Words With Friends.”
“This shit is getting old,” Figueroa, 38, told his dinner companions at Babosa’s Route 66 Diner in Barstow after an evening of bowling in which he broke a nail and tore a shoelace.
Mas…Local man ‘sick and tired of sh*t breaking down and falling apart’
Shocking study links global warming and Latino immigration
(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) The warmer the U.S. gets, the more Latinos live here. That’s the controversial conclusion of a scientific study released Thursday by the Demographic Climatology Trend Institute at Maricopa County Community College.
“We don’t know if the warmer weather makes El Norte a more comfortable place to live for Mexicans used to desert living, you know, with the sombreros and cacti and burros, or that the number of brown people on our side of the border means more sunlight is getting absorbed and kicking up the thermometer,” said Assistant Professor of Ignorametry Joe “Junior” Arapaio.
Mas…Shocking study links global warming and Latino immigration