Mel Blanc, the amazing voice artist who brought our hero Speedy Gonzales to life, is the man behind this November 1957 novelty record, The Hat I Got for Christmas is Too Beeg:
You roll up to your tio’s carne asada ready to down some truly inhuman amount of your tia’s arroz rojo when suddenly, you realize that your uncle has traded in his authentic sombrero for a weird plaid fedora.
What will you do? WHAT WILL YOU DO?
First of all, don’t be scared. Just choose one or more options from the list below:
SpotSound.co.uk has you covered, as long as you have £300 ($465). For some reason we don’t think the Queen’s English is their first language. Check it out:
Hooray! We found a new video upload from the same white winger who gleefully shared the dancing Raza 1 Racists 0 video.
This new upload features the irony-impaired videographer and his know-nothing posse out on the streets waving American flags and ranting about “illegals.” Then two different guys drive by and stop their trucks, get out, and confront the H8RZ. [Adult language, F-bomb.]
With everybody and her tio dressing up for Halloween and Dia de los Muertos, it’s important to stand out from the crowd with a bold fashion-forward statement. For some stylish chipsters, that means a calavera-themed fez.
Lucky for us, that’s exactly what our ‘chuco suave model, Pablo from the Internets, is wearing! Pablo’s embroidered velvet chapeau is a new Fall style from San Diego’s Fez-o-rama.com. You don’t just wear a fez, pochos. A fez wears you.
California cultural ambassador Joseph Alvarado wants you to learn How To Dance Like A Mexican.
PREVIOUSLY ON DANCE:
How about doubling down with a Comida Mexicana duo that wraps your baby up like a burrito in a tortilla-colored blanket and keeps his/her cute little cabeza warm with a hat that looks like the corn husk knot that secures tamales?
Bon Vivant Baby has you covered for only $48. [Baby not included.]
PREVIOUSLY ON BURRITO-LOOKING BABIES:
Link via MiBlogEsTuBlog.
Editor’s Note: POCHO Subcomandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón wants to remind you it is one tamal and two tamales; one frijol, two frijoles; one asshol, two assholes, etc.
Place your order now for thongs, hats, shirts, sweats — all featuring my handsome head — at CafePress.com/thepochostore. But be sure order before The End of the World As We Know It — Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 on December 21. We can’t guarantee delivery if there’s no world to deliver to!
Monareta, a band made up of dancing aliens from outer space, has the best spinning propeller nerd beanies in all of Colombia. This is their video, Llama. That’s all we know for sure. If you have any additional information, please contact the appropriate authorities in your jurisdiction. And dance!
You know, sometimes it’s hard being Latino. You wake up, go about your day, do your business, and then people ask you where your donkey is, or whether your family is from Mexico.
And, you know, it may be that your family has been in the U.S. longer than theirs, or that no one in your family has a moustache, but why burst peoples’ bubbles with inconvenient truths like that?
So here’s a list of the Pocho Ocho indispensable Latino props — for those days that you forget you’re supposed to be a stereotype!
8. Sombrero — Don’t forget your hat, amigo!
7. Moustache — You know it does go with the sombrero, as does the poncho and/or donkey. Wouldn’t want you to leave home without it!