In Kentucky, aka KY, the state with the same initials as a popular personal lubricant, County Attorney John K. Carter says being Hispanic is reason enough for a motorist to be pulled over by police in Oldham County. In open court. With video rolling. And the defense attorney pretends she didn’t hear that, just like the lady judge didn’t hear that either. That’s why they need the KY.
After all, only 1.3% of the county is Hispanic, so who even cares? And why are they here in this posh Louisville suburb anyhow? Hispanics be like lazy, collecting welfare and food stamps, speaking Espanish and stealing jobs from white people, am I right?
“Oh no, I di-int,” Prosecutor Carter esplained later [paraphrase], according to The Courier Journal:
(PNS reporting from TUCSON) Cesar Chavez — noted American farm worker, labor leader and civil rights activist — is back from the dead and running for the congressional seat being vacated by retiring Rep. Ed Pastor (D-AZ).
“I will do just about anything to win in Arizona’s heavily Hispanic 7th Congressional District,” Chavez said in a press release, “including rising from the grave if that’s what it takes.”
A Chavez spokesman said the newly-registered Democratic candidate (until recently a two-time Republican loser) had been “flooded with calls” and was no longer speaking to the press, but if he did decide to answer questions, he would not discuss how he came back from the dead or what the afterlife is like.
Our amigos at Latino Rebels tipped us off to a brewing controversy about a South Park audio clip being used as a ringtone. On South Park they were “scanning for Mexicans.”
We decided cellphones needed some puro pocho ringtones, so we made four ringtones — dare we call them POCHOTONES? — starring Cheech Marin, Edward J. Olmos, Alfonso Bedoya and George Lopez.
Download and share (.mp3 format):
- We don’t need no stinking badges (Alfonso Bedoya) [.mp3 format]
- Every vato longs to wear the zoot suit (Edward J. Olmos) [.mp3 format]
- I was born in East L.A. (Cheech Marin) [.mp3 format]
- Sheriff Joe can go fuck himself (George Lopez) [.mp3 format]
POCHO’s New Jack City Burro Jefe Elise Roedenbeck wraps up this week’s ñews in the premiere installment of Mija Weekly. Please note she is quite insistent that you leave comments below. (NSFW language.)
The part ruled constitutional requires an officer to make a reasonable attempt to determine the immigration status of a person stopped, detained or arrested if there’s reasonable suspicion that person is in the country illegally. Anything from sombreros to brown skin may allow police to inquire about one’s immigration status.
Reactions from a random sampling of Arizonans were positive and optimistic.
Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer’s bony-ass mummy finger was held high in the air upon hearing of the mixed decision: “We Kept ONE! We Kept ONE!” The aged papyrus-skinned governor declared victory: “The Supremes voided much of SB1070 but let us keep my favorite part– profiling those smooth-skinned Mexicans.”
(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Republicans scared to death worried about the GOP’s ridiculously awful poor standing with Hispanic non-Mexican-American voters have launched an election-year scramble to put a better spin on their party’s immigration problem. Their solution? A TV reality show starring Hollywood flunkie and all-around jackass, Steven Seagal.
Seagal leads the list of C-level actors in You’re Busted, Beaner! a new Republican Party-backed reality series. Seagal stars as a cop who pursues “illegals” while promoting the GOP’s
non-Mexican Hispanic-friendly agenda.
The show will be produced by Tinsel Town’s sole Republican, who prefers to remain anonymous.