Know your history: The Mayans and the Aztecs developed advanced civilizations and eight U.S. states sit on land that used to be Mexico.

# mathematics

## Breaking: Latina wins Nobel for discovery of Culo Quotient

*(PNS reporting from STOCKHOLM)* A Latina math professor was awarded the Nobel Prize in Mathematics Wednesday for her discovery of the mathematical relationship between dress dimensions and the bulbousness of the culo.

“It’s such a surprise! I was just trying to figure out how to shop for clothes that would fit me without making me look like a puta,” said Cal State L.A. Professor Rosie Carrasco, speaking to PNS from the kitchen of her mom’s house in East L.A.

Carrasco’s discovery — the **Culo Quotient** — is a rigorous mathematical formula that uses the ratio of the length of a back of a a dress (typically shorter) and the length of the longer front of a dress to derive an accurate measurement of the size of the dress-wearer’s culo.

Her discovery was initially released on the Internet, before a movement sprung up to nominate her for the Nobel Prize.

She is the first Latina to win the prestigious award.

Mas…Breaking: Latina wins Nobel for discovery of Culo Quotient

## Mathematician: Chicanos have only one degree of separation

*(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) *All people have six degrees of separation? Hells, nah! A new study by an area mathematician begs to differ.

“The truth is that, for Chicanos, there is only a single degree of separation,” says UCLA Ph.D. mathematics candidate Beto Pérez, of Painter Avenue in Whittier. “I’ve done a global calculation based on a plethora of factors and concluded that journalist Frigyes Karinthy’s theory of the general population does not apply to Chicanos.”

Pérez published his findings in article and photo essay titled, “Inlakesh: Chicano Identity One-On-One,” in the June issue of *National Geographic.*

“First of all, most Chicanos have too many primos,” he told PNS, “and therefore there are never too many people you won’t know. When you add in homies and rucas, plus tíos and tías, plus people you start calling “compadres” five minutes after you meet them, you never even get to the point where more than three degrees of separation are required,” Pérez said.

Mas…Mathematician: Chicanos have only one degree of separation