(PNS reporting from STOCKHOLM) A Latina math professor was awarded the Nobel Prize in Mathematics Wednesday for her discovery of the mathematical relationship between dress dimensions and the bulbousness of the culo.
“It’s such a surprise! I was just trying to figure out how to shop for clothes that would fit me without making me look like a puta,” said Cal State L.A. Professor Rosie Carrasco, speaking to PNS from the kitchen of her mom’s house in East L.A.
Carrasco’s discovery — the Culo Quotient — is a rigorous mathematical formula that uses the ratio of the length of a back of a a dress (typically shorter) and the length of the longer front of a dress to derive an accurate measurement of the size of the dress-wearer’s culo.
Her discovery was initially released on the Internet, before a movement sprung up to nominate her for the Nobel Prize.
She is the first Latina to win the prestigious award.
“I never thought I would reach such heights,” she told PNS. “I’m still trying to come to terms with this achievement! Hopefully my discovery can help others, but also signal to the fashion industry that not every woman in the U.S. has flat nalgas.”