Inspired by Kim Kardashian’s rising popularity throughout Mexico, shop owner Dalton Javier Davalos decided to make a pinata of the star’s posterior for the Posadas festival taking place later this month. In making the pinata, Davalos said that he didn’t forsee the international spotlight his shop would receive as a result.
The more you use the Internets, the more likely you are to lose your religion, according to a new study.
America is less religious than ever before. The number of Americans who reported no religious affiliation has been growing rapidly, doubling since 1990. That kind of rapid change matches another societal trend — growth in Internet use. The percentage of Americans who say they used the Internet went from nearly zero in 1990 to 87 percent this year.
Now, a detailed data analysis finds the two trends aren’t just related, but that wider Internet use may actually be leading us to lose our religion.
He’s so rico suave, everyone says he’s a Real Cool Arrow! (Neo-polka cowpunk from Austin’s The Hickoids.)
PREVIOUSLY ON TEXAS POLKA:
(PNS reporting from NEW YORK CITY) The new Jennifer Lopez Barbie Doll has a suspicious lack of derriere, hurting Mattel’s effort to
pander to cater to the young Latina market.
The outcry, mostly online, prompted Mattel to a hold real live press conference here Thursday to try and do some damage control.
“The steep increase in the cost of plastic is beyond the control of Mattel, or our manufacturers,” spokeswoman Elena Guajardo told reporters in a Trump Towers conference room, while an assistant Tweeted her remarks to the Internets.
“Due to global shortages of plastic and plastic precursors, Mattel was forced to reduce the amount used to manufacture the new JLo Barbie.”
The JLo Barbie was expected to help Mattel in the Latina market.
Previously, Mattel tried shaming young Latinas by presenting them with unrealistic blonde Barbies that promoted internalized oppression, but that approach was a sales flop.
The blog started in 2008 and hasn’t been updated since 2011, but it still makes us LOL.
(We stole just eight headlines from the original 23 entries for this Pocho Ocho list, so you’ll have to read this post and find the link at the end for the extensive original story.)
¡Mira! Pocho Ocho things educated Chicanos like, with links to POCHO examples:
8. Salma Hayek
* An interview with the University of Oxford butt fat researcher [Updated 7:45 PM PDT Nov. 2, 2013.]
(PNS reporting from ENGLAND) Scientists at the University of Oxford have uncovered evidence that women with big butts are not only the most intelligent, but also the most resistant to chronic illnesses.
The study examined the fat accumulated in different parts of a woman’s body, and found that women with a phat ass were less likely to get diabetes, since they are more likely to produce hormones to metabolize sugar.
What’s more, women with big booties tended to have lower levels of cholesterol and fewer heart problems, according to the study.
We translated the Fafhoo Noticas report:
Women with a big butt, wide hips and a narrow waist can live longer, and even be more intelligent, since the Omega 3 fats stored in their butts support brain development.
(PNS reporting from STOCKHOLM) A Latina math professor was awarded the Nobel Prize in Mathematics Wednesday for her discovery of the mathematical relationship between dress dimensions and the bulbousness of the culo.
“It’s such a surprise! I was just trying to figure out how to shop for clothes that would fit me without making me look like a puta,” said Cal State L.A. Professor Rosie Carrasco, speaking to PNS from the kitchen of her mom’s house in East L.A.
Carrasco’s discovery — the Culo Quotient — is a rigorous mathematical formula that uses the ratio of the length of a back of a a dress (typically shorter) and the length of the longer front of a dress to derive an accurate measurement of the size of the dress-wearer’s culo.
Her discovery was initially released on the Internet, before a movement sprung up to nominate her for the Nobel Prize.
She is the first Latina to win the prestigious award.
As long as the boss isn’t looking, today is the day when pochos all over America go holiday gift shopping on the Internets. If you’re not shopping at Lalo Alcaraz’s place, these Pocho Ocho gift tips (with links) will turn your Cyber Lunes from Mission Impossible to Cyber Espace Mission Accomplished:
8. Santa’s Helpers are cool, sure, but so last year! Nalgas Helpers are bringing sexy back (and backs) with their American-made line of butt thong bar stools. When the clear view is the rear view, click on over to order the furniture that will make your family room the “Best of Barrio” for 2012!
When I was in seventh grade, I was derided for being flat-chested. When I was in college I was derided for having ample junk in the trunk. As a 20-something I was felt self-conscious because I didn’t have thin legs.
It turns out, depending on who you ask, this is all good — or all lacking. It’s confusing: do Latino men want voluptuous or not? Or do they only want voluptuous in certain places? Do they just like to drool over skinny women on TV, but when they get home prefer something more ample? What are the mathematics on being an “adequately-attractive” Latina?