Pocho Ocho Top Facts You Need to Know About New Hampshire

newhampshiredonkeyhoteyDonald Trump’s and Bernie Sanders’ stunning victories Tuesday don’t make sense unless you know the hidden history of the state of New Hampshire.

That’s the reason we researched and compiled the Pocho Ocho Top Facts You Need to Know About New Hampshire:

8. New HAMpshire is known for its “HAM aroma” which inspired the hit song My Sharona

7. Coincidence or conspiracy? The ham-smelling state’s namesake [old] Hampshire, on England’s southern coast across the channel from France, smells like CHEESE

6. New Hampshire is very white. How white is it? New Hampshire is so white it makes the OSCARS look like a #BlackLivesMatter rally

Mas…Pocho Ocho Top Facts You Need to Know About New Hampshire

Week in Ñews: @MexicanMitt, bishop with kids, racist white ladies, immigrants suck

It was a big week for big news here at POCHO, where the big estory was our Mexclusive interview with new Twitter sensation @MexicanMitt, who told Pocho Ñews Service PNS “I’m in it to guin it!”

We also released the voicemail Catholic Bishop Gabino Zavala left when he told his boss the Archbishop about his secret life with a chica and two shorties.

The Racist White Ladies video (and response and apology videos) continued to amaze people who thought they’d seen everything from Arizona.

Turns out, Arizona-watchers, you ain’t seen anything, yet!

Click through for the stories and links.

Mas…Week in Ñews: @MexicanMitt, bishop with kids, racist white ladies, immigrants suck

Mexican Mitt Romney is live on Twitter: I am in it to guin it!

(PNS reporting from CYBER ESPACE) Like virtual huitlacoche  growing on a diseased ear of GOP political corn, an avatar of candidate Mitt Romney emerged on Twitter Wednesday, a digital fungus thriving on the stinking mess of Tuesday’s New Hampshire primary.

Using the handle @MexicanMitt,  the campaign’s online Hispanic personality exalts Romney as a canny opportunist, occasionally-job-killing corporate turnaround guru and proud-to-be-loaded capitalist examplar. MexicanMitt now has 1,100 followers.

Pocho Ñews Service  interviewed @MexicanMitt via email:  

PNS: You seem to love enforcing immigration policies. How many of your own Mexican family members have you deported?

MexicanMitt: I keep deporting them back after they finish working for me selling oranges. So I don’t think of it as deporting them, more like firing them

Mas…Mexican Mitt Romney is live on Twitter: I am in it to guin it!

Secret New Hampshire: They lie about origins, talk funny and hate God

(PNS reporting from NEW ENGLAND) New Hampshire is the small Yanqui state where Republicans vote today in a primary election. When tonight’s results come in, remember where they’re coming from – a jurisdiction where people live a lie, talk in a dialect devoid in rhoticity and don’t go to church like other Americans!

These are the secrets of the Granite State:

Rick Perry: Mexi-Klingon threat could require Viet troops

(PNS reporting from NEW ENGLAND) As president, Rick Perry “would send troops back into Vietnam,” the Texas governor declared during Saturday’s presidential debate.

Blasting Pres. Barack Obama for letting Vietnam “just sit there,” Perry (R-TX) said the area is susceptible to a light-speed invasion from Mexican Klingons and possibly people who hate Christmas.

“Look, these people have the technology. I’ve seen it. I think the idea that we allow these Mexi-Klingons to come back into Vietnam and take over that country, with all of the treasure, both in blood and money, and uhm, one other thing, oh shit…well with all that we have spent there because this president wants to kowtow to his Borg leftist base…I think it is a huge mistake,” Perry said during the debate.

Mas…Rick Perry: Mexi-Klingon threat could require Viet troops