Reports: NAFTA negotiations extended until end of time

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) NAFTA negotiations between the U.S., Canada and Mexico will likely only conclude when mankind ceases to exist or if extraterrestrial raids breed unity among humans that leads to the dissolution of international borders, according to two sources with direct knowledge of the trilateral talks.

Mas…Reports: NAFTA negotiations extended until end of time

9/11 ‘worst day ever’ for Alberto Qaeda of the Bronx

alberto_qaedalarge(PNS reporting from EL BRONX) Almost every adult American remembers where they were on Sept. 11, 2001, but few remember more vividly than Bronx janitor Alberto Qaeda.

“That was the first time I ever got my ass kicked.  And the second time.  And the third,” recalls Qaeda, who used to go by the more informal name of “Al.”

Qaeda (photo), who was 17 in 2001, was a student at City College of New York studying to be a cashier when the first plane crashed into the World Trade Center.

Mas…9/11 ‘worst day ever’ for Alberto Qaeda of the Bronx