Hot sexy salsa dancers! A party — or is it a fiesta? Hopping lowriders! Flags of many nations! Something for the kids! Did Charter/Spectrum/TimeWarner/RoadRunner miss any Latinx cliches?
We asked our favorite ad maven Bernadette Rivero what was missing and what was happening in this spot:
“Missing?” she emailed back. “An abuela kicking a soccer ball with her feet while batting a piñata with one hand and making a call to Latin America.”
We live in the land of immigrants and a Great American Melting Pot — where any kid can grow up to be president, or that’s what they wanted you to think in 1977. [Schoolhouse Rock. Music and lyrics by Lynn Ahrens. Vocals by Lori Lieberman. ABC-TV.]
Hola. I’m Lalo Alcaraz. You might know me.
I have been a Chicano political cartoonist forever. I know, I know, it’s God’s work, you’re welcome. Now, all of a sudden I’m a primetime TV writer and producer. Huh? Yes, the last two years in my life have been a super WTF. With ten percent LOL. #facepalm
Like it or not, I am now part of a historic pop culture moment: the first season of the first animated primetime TV show featuring a large cast of Mexican and Mexican-American characters: Bordertown.
When Chilean TV reporter Bernardita Middleton was challenged to take a dip in chilly ocean during a live shot, she lost her bikini top in the Pacific.
(It was my first showbiz writing gig!) Big props and eternal thanks to the Culture Clash guys!
And before all of us, there was LALO GUERRERO doing Chicano satire, hell, INVENTING it! Check out Guerrero’s singing There’s No Chicanos on TV!
“Negroes and whites, Jews and Christians, [women are seen but not heard],” says the cheery announcer. “We are all in this together.” Also we’re all in the circus and on the baseball diamonds, high rise construction sites and neighborhood block parties.
Ground-breaking integrated pre-rock-n-roll boy band, the Benny Goodman Quartet, swing the PSAs to a brilliant climax as silhouetted jitterbugging hep-cats prefigure iPod commercials. We can make beautiful music together if we all play ball! Bake a cake for your colored neighbor. HOME TEAM USA! Tuned up for freedom! Solid!
Do you think Mustache Guy is Latino?
Oh no you didn’t!
Yanet Garcia, the Televisa Monterrey weather hottie, video’d a sexy lingerie photo shoot for men’s magazine H Para Hombres and an Australia bro at UNILAD added NSFW play-by-play commentary including F-bombs.
PREVIOUSLY ON YANET GARCIA:
Newly-hired Vanessa Ruiz of KPNX TV Channel 12 news knows how to properly pronounce her Spanish, thank you very much and no, she won’t apologize. Ruiz’ Facebook page is here. [Pinche Flash video may not play on your device.]
We have totally been here before. Mira two videos from Gustavo Arellano and Gustavo Almadovar.
Kalbaz Taco. It’s what’s for snack. From Egypt Foods Group, A World of Snacks.
Wow. There is this seasoning, Cappy, and you too, Kirsten and Brooke – there is this TAJIN seasoning for your fruit AND veggies! Spicy! Salty! Lime! Totes, like, amazeballs! It adds a ZING! to everything! I wonder where they get these ideas?
PREVIOUSLY ON TAJIN:
The video, with the catchy title of Yanet Garcia y El Pronostico Del Tiempo 20-Jun-2015 Full HD, has even attracted the attention of high brow publications like the NY Daily News:
How did they manage? What are the odds?
Do you have a TV? Do you like to drink beer? Good for you, idiot — you have met the minimum requirements for sports fandom. But how do smart people drink and yell at the screen (often at the same time)? Watch and learn.
PREVIOUSLY ON IDIOT’S GUIDE:
The late Chicano musical pioneer Lalo Guerrero called out Hollywood on its racist casting practices on last century’s Culture Clash TV show. Culture Clash, however, is still around 🙂 but so is racist casting. 🙁
Our favorite Lalo Guerrero song is Chucos Suaves:
Never one to say no to a good thing, Nickelodeon has opted to cash-in on their Latina golden goose! The morning mail finds our old friend Dora the Explorer all grown up, ten years old, hangin’ with her posse in the City, and, get this, now she has eyebrows.
I am actually all for the saturation of the vidiot network with pint-sized facsimiles of smart, bilingual, Latina animated stars, so I will hold the snark and just point you to some coming attractions!