fidel castro

cucatrumpcastro

adios_comandante

saluteSince Donald Trump’s astonishing rise to power, there is only one other public figure I can recall that has drawn such extremes of loyalty and loathing: Fidel Castro in his prime.

I will no doubt get an avalanche of criticism from my fellow Cuban-Americans for making this observation. But that simply proves my point. Although at opposite ends of the political spectrum, both men are lightning rods for polarization. Their similarities are in political style, not ideology.

“…THEIR IMPULSIVE PERSONALITIES WERE CATNIP TO THE MEDIA.” [Mas…]

cucaobamacuba

cheperfumeche-nike(PNS reporting from HAVANA) Hey, kids! Now you can smell like dead Commies Che Guevara and/or Hugo Chavez with these two new scents from Cuba’s Labiofarm labs. (That’s “labio” not “labia,” you freaks.)

The just-announced perfume products could be a big source of hard currency for Venezuela‘s flagging economy, which Chavez poisoned and current Commandante Maduro is now kicking in the cojones.

The Hugo Chavez deal, insiders told PNS, was inspired by the Cuban regime’s multi-million-dollar revenue stream from the Che image licensing deal Comarade Fidel made with Nike (photo.) [Mas…]

Fidel Castro is still alive, you imperialist running dogs, and we’ve got photos to prove it. That was the message from Cuba’s official Communist Party newspaper Granma this week as rumors swirled that the ailing dictator had suffered a stroke and was incapacitated. Granma published this photo of Fidel on his prison island reading his own Mainstream Media.

But wait, there’s more! Here’s a selection of photos published by Cuban entertainment weekly Che Paso: [Mas…]

Anti-terror WIN! Wrinkled AZ governor detained by U.S. Border Patrol

by Lalo Alcaraz July 5, 2012 El Now
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Quick-thinking U.S. Border Patrol agents, inspired by the skull-melting Arizona heat, have captured an elderly terrorist who was hell-bent on turning the vast wasteland known as Arizona into a vast radioactive wasteland. Or was it the nation’s oldest living ex-governor, Raul Castro (photo,right), 96, who was detained at a border patrol checkpoint in the brutal Arizona […]

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho things Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen meant to say

by Al Carlos Hernandez April 10, 2012 El Now
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8. I admire the fact that Fidel is not that dead yet. 7. I have decided to move to Cape Canaveral, North Korea and never talk sports again. 6. Ricky Ricardo should have been president of Cuba for the last 50 years.

[Mas…]

Are Castro and Chavez planning KomradPad tablet and CheOS?

by Lucida Grandé February 2, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from EL OTRO LADO) Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez and Cuba’s Fidel Castro are developing their own communist tablet computer, the KomradPad, and  a custom commie operating system tentatively dubbed CheOS, according to industry sources. Initial apps are said to include a Zynga-style game called Collective Farmville, a first-person shooter named Comrade In Arms: Road […]

[Mas…]