LALO ALCARAZ
Swimmer Diana Nyad tows 400 balseros from Cuba to USA
(PNS reporting from FLORIDA) Diana Nyad walked onshore here Monday, becoming the first person to swim from Cuba towing 400 escaping balseros. The 64-year-old Nyad swam up to the beach just before 2PM EDT, about 53 hours after she began her journey in Havana.
As she approached, spectators waded into waist-high water and surrounded the Cuban refugees, and offering them water. “I have three messages. One is, we should never, ever give up. Two is, you’re never too old to chase your dream. Three is, all you Cubans better pay me the smuggling money you owe me.”
“I have to say, I’m a little bit out of it right now,” Nyad said. She gestured toward her swollen lips, and simply said “Cubans.”
Breaking: Obama says U.S. will bomb Twerky
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) President Barack Obama has abruptly dismissed the possibility of launching a U.S. military action against Syria and opted for another world trouble spot.
“I am making preparations to bomb Twerky,” the President declared in a nationally-televised speech Friday afternoon. “It is clear that Syria has used banned chemical weapons against its own people, but I must be guided by what is in the best interests of the United States, and the actual clear and present danger to our nation is coming from Twerky.”
Mirror, mirror on the wall: Who’s the baddest of them all? (photo)
Post by Lalo Alcaraz.
Mirror, mirror on the wall — who’s the baddest of them all?
Pochos: Share your captions in the COMMENTS below:
La Cucaracha: Teachers, face your fate, it’s back to school (toon)
Teacher Vero from La Cucaracha is facing her greatest annual challenge yet- It’s Back To School time! See more of La Cucaracha, the nationally syndicated comic strip by me, Pocho Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz here.
San Diego Mayor Bob Filner’s long kiss goodbye (toon)
San Diego Mayor Bob Filner has resigned after a long and protracted scandal in which more than a dozen women accused him of sexual harrassment. But in this cartoon, Filner is having a final sentimental moment.
The GOP’s Sen. Ted Cruz reveals he is a ‘proud Kenyadian’
(PNS reporting from DALLAS) Like Barack Obama before him, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) is fighting doubts he is really a “natural born citizen” of the United States, a question he must settle before he runs for president.
“I am a proud Kenyadian,” the beaming senator told reporters here this morning as he displayed a copy of his birth certificate. The official record shows his mother was born in Delaware, his father is from Cuba, and Cruz was born in Kenyada.
Mas…The GOP’s Sen. Ted Cruz reveals he is a ‘proud Kenyadian’
Breaking: Aeromexico Airlines is changing its name
(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY, D.F.) Mexico’s largest and longest-flying airline announced today that it is undergoing a complete corporate makeover.
Aeromexico Chief of Communications Rigoberto Saenz Bolillo explained in this statement:
We are going through a rebranding, and we are shedding our old name Aeromexico, and our logo, which evokes an Aztec Eagle warrior flying through the air. A flying Indio was frightening to the new type of upscale passenger we are going after, and that is why Aeromexico will now be known as GueroMexico.
Bolillo added:
Mexican scientist reveals underground high speed travel system
(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Not to be outdone by Space X founder Elon Musk’s proposed high speed “Hyperloop” rail system, a Mexican engineer has plans to commercialize his country’s high speed travel infrastructure, a proprietary closed system that has been in operation for years.
Researchers and engineers in this high tech city in Mexico’s Silicon Barrio are not impressed with Musk’s Hyperloop, a system of people-sized pods that move through a network of air-free tubes built over or under the ground at speeds of up to 800 MPH.
“We have had almost the same method of transportation a very long time, so I do not understand what the big deal is,” Universidad de Guanajuato Prof. Carlos Sagañez told PNS Tuesday.
Mas…Mexican scientist reveals underground high speed travel system
UFW vs UO: Corporate hipsters discover cool Chicano logo *UPDATED
In an incredibly outrageous and facepalming culture vulture move, the overpriced and underimaginative mall rat chain Urban Outfitters has done it again.
UO has willfully and bald-facedly swiped the iconic and pride-inducing United Farm Workers Union eagle logo and transformed it into crap denim shirt fodder for their slave-made clothing.
Wonderfully hipstery and ironic, que no, that clothing factory wage slaves in the Third World make a shirt with a logo that represents the struggle to improve migrant farmworkers’ lives in the U.S. so they are not slaving away in Third World working conditions.
Mas…UFW vs UO: Corporate hipsters discover cool Chicano logo *UPDATED
Scary Naked Geraldo photo slashes ‘Walking While Black’ crime
(PNS reporting from FLORIDA) Neighborhood Watch volunteers across the nation’s gated communities are posting Twitter photos of Naked Geraldo to frighten off dangerous junk food-toting hoodie-wearing kids.
Award-winning journalist Geraldo Rivera, who proclaimed in his initial Tweet that “Seventy is the new Sexty,” snapped the nude photo of himself in the bathroom in order to fight the rampant scourge of black teen crime.
In the wake of the child-killer George Zimmerman’s acquittal in the homicide of Trayvon Martin, the support for crushing “Black On Sidewalk” crime has been boosted by law abiding citizens everywhere, and the Naked Geraldo photo has been a big help.
Mas…Scary Naked Geraldo photo slashes ‘Walking While Black’ crime
Release the hounds? What, me worry? I’m @ #SDCC (photos)
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I’m back in my hometown — however briefly — for the San Diego Comic-Con, SDCC, where I had a chance to talk with and take photos with two of my heroes, Montgomery Burns and Alfred E. Neuman.
Alcaraz. Lalo Alcaraz. I’ve got a license to toon:
Photographers here are always happy to snap pix of hot chicas in super hero garb. Click on the gigantor image to enlarge:
Mas…Release the hounds? What, me worry? I’m @ #SDCC (photos)
The Pocho Ocho top favorite ways racists try to tell me off
It comes with the territory — when you tackle controversial issues you attract controversial responses. Or, as I like to call it, Crackpot Racist Hate Mail From Right Wing Nut Jobs (CRHMFRWNJ for short.)
Some of the messages scrawled on paper bags in crayon (and blood?) are mailed to various newspapers around the country that publish La Cucaracha and/or my editorial cartoons. Some post comments here on POCHO and assorted loons follow me from Twitter to Facebook to my blog to leave me droppings from their thought processes. No one follows them around with pooper escoopers, so I’m stuck with what they call in the sewage industry “solid waste” — mierda for you pochos.
I spent maybe 10 or 20 minutes going through the folder on my Mac desktop named Love_Letters, and came up with this list of my Pocho Ocho favorite insults:
8. Go back to Africa!
Mas…The Pocho Ocho top favorite ways racists try to tell me off
Every mother’s worst nightmare (toon)
- What’s behind this cartoon? Lalo Alcaraz answered that pregunta for HLNTV.
