COMIC SAENZ

Comic Saenz is the font name of Dennis Wilen, POCHO's Jefe-de-Content.

Coming soon to a theater near them: Navajo ‘Star Wars’ (NPR audio)

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If you find yourself in the Navajo Nation (in Arizona) on July 3, you’re in the right place at the right time for a once-in-a-lifetime experience — the premiere of Star Wars, translated into Navajo.

NPR reports:

The 1977 classic has been translated into many languages, and the latest effort is the brainchild of Manuelito Wheeler, director of the Navajo Nation Museum in Window Rock, Ariz.

“We needed a way to preserve our culture,” Wheeler tells NPR’s Robert Siegel. “Language is at the core of a culture. And I felt we needed a more contemporary way to reach not just young people but the population in general. And so, that’s when the idea of translating a major movie into the Navajo language came up.”

Here’s the NPR interview:

Spanglish with @wilw Wheaton: Today’s word is ‘pupacabras’ (Vine)

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Wil and Anne Wheaton consider the correct pronunciation of the word for “chupacabra puppies.” [New to Vine? We are too! Click on the audio speaker icon in the top left corner of the image to hear Wil and Anne. You may have to hover your mouse over some magic spot to make icon appear; we’re not entirely sure.]

Attention Mexican voters: Morris el candigato is a freakin’ cat! (video)

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Morris the cat is a write-in candidate for mayor in Xalapa, Veracruz, MX. He’s a candigato, get it?

TodaysInBox reports:

MEXICO CITY — Fed up with politicians they call “rats,” a group of friends in the eastern Mexican city of Xalapa have put forward their ideal candidate for mayor: a cat named Morris.

Xalapa resident Sergio Chamorro, who adopted the cat in August, said the plan began as a joke between friends borne out of their frustration with the Veracruz state government over freedom of speech.

“Fed up of voting for rats? Vote for a cat,” reads one campaign poster featuring the black and white cat, using the Spanish “ratas” for rats and “gato” for Morris.

Mas…Attention Mexican voters: Morris el candigato is a freakin’ cat! (video)

GOP, Christians reach out to millennials: ‘Rappin’ for Jesus’

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If the GOP has any future, it needs fresh blood, according to young Christian conservatives at a recent right-wing confab.

And reaching “Millenials” means communicating in the languages These Kids Today know — sarcasm, hiphop, humor and snark.

“How do you make abortion funny?” That was a key question mulled at a major conservative gathering Friday on how to make social conservatism appealing to young people, after an election where Republicans got trounced in the battle for millennial voters (who are are moving even further and further away from the Christian-right on marriage and other issues).

Mas…GOP, Christians reach out to millennials: ‘Rappin’ for Jesus’

Kanye West’s ‘I Am A God’ as read by Elise Roedenbeck (video)

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When an important pop culture artifact like a Kanye West CD (or baby) drops, smart pochas y pochos step back from the frenzy and take a dispassionate look at WTF is going on.

That’s why our MiJA, Elise Roedenbeck, at her new gig down there in Miami with Fusion, embarked on a dramatic reading of the West composition I Am A God, from the album Yeezus. (SAFE FOR WORK. ALL LYRICS HAVE BEEN SANITIZED FOR YOUR PROTECTION.)

In Brazil, this is how they roll — tractor tire style (video)

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A huge rolling tractor tire gathers no moss, especially if you and a buddy are curled up inside going downhill. Kids, don’t do this at home without a safety helmet and a chase truck. Also, please remember Brazil is in the Southern Hemisphere, where everything is upside down and bass-ackwards. If you try this in the U.S., position the tire to roll uphill.

A Tribe Called Quest: I Left My Wallet in El Segundo (music video)

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True story! My mom went on a game show and won a cruise vacation and left me home alone so I took the 1974 Dodge Dart with my crew and went cruising. Across the country. We paid our turnpike tolls and hit the road, taking turns driving so people could sleep in the back. Then we got lost in the middle of the desert. And look at this — a four-foot dude in a big sombrero. Hey, Pedro do you know where we can get gas and food? Sure, says Pedro, over there in El Segundo….

Feds arrest ‘burrito-bomber’ who says CIA tapped his brain

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(ALBUQUERQUE, NM) The Feds have arrested a man who allegedly threatened to detonate a bomb-filled burrito (artist’s conception, right) in the FBI office here, a man who has claimed that he was personally the subject of government spying.

His shocking accusation?

Uncle Sam AKA Tio Sam implanted brain-tapping equipment in his cabeza.

Brian DeMarco, 50, a resident of the Super 8 Motel off of Coors Boulevard, revealed to authorities that the government “placed a tracking device inside his head” in addition to “beaming photons.”

If confirmed, his allegation would dovetail perfectly with a POCHO Mexclusive story about how the National Security Agency (NSA) has outsourced surveillance of Americans in border states to the Mexican Security Agency (MSA.)

KRQE reports:

Mas…Feds arrest ‘burrito-bomber’ who says CIA tapped his brain

The Latino Shopper: You probably think this vid is about you

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ZOMG! They made a video about mi gente, The Latino Shopper? About how we are unique and have a special sensual way of Latino shopping? Because, after all, all Latinos are the same! That’s right, Hispanics, too! Does this video have clip art, arrows and zoomy sound effects? Perky gabacho announcer? ¡Orale! I am so there!

Texas reacts to mariachi kid anthem racism: ‘We can do better!’

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(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) Some Texans are ashamed of last night’s racist online reaction to 10-year-old mariachi singer Sebastien de la Cruz’s performance of The Star Spangled Banner at the NBA finals here.

“We can do better!” shouted one local activist at a hastily-called demonstration outside AT&T Center today.

“How can we expect more people to join our racist krusade if we persist in really sloppy spelling, inconsistent capitalization, confused subject-verb agreement and endless repetition of stale cliches?” said Stanley Merdkopf, president of the local chapter of Organized Racist Crackers for America (ORCA.)

Mas…Texas reacts to mariachi kid anthem racism: ‘We can do better!’

Carlos Santana mends his evil ways, lists Las Vegas house for sale

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(PNS reporting from LAS VEGAS) Guitar hero and chart-topping band leader Carlos Santana has put his 7,240-square-foot, four-bedroom, six-bath home up for sale as part a 12-step program to “mend…[his]..evil ways” and simplify his life, PNS has learned.

“When I come home, Baby, my house is dark and my pots are cold,” he told area Realtor® Babette “Call Me Baby” DiFranco when he gave her the Skybird Court listing. The home is offered at $3,499,900.

The amazing state-of-the-art luxury home with million-dollar Strip, golf, city and mountain views is located on an oversized lot in Redhawk at The Ridges and allows one to relax in the spacious master retreat with a fireplace and large balcony with stunning views. And that’s where the guitarist’s problems began, according to DiFranco.

“House put a spell on me, Baby, turnin’ my heart into stone,” Santana told the real estate agent. “It’s like I need you so bad, but I can’t leave you alone.”

Mas…Carlos Santana mends his evil ways, lists Las Vegas house for sale

Al Madrigal exposes evil whistleblowing humane criminals (video)

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The Daily Show’s Al Madrigal exposes the evil whistleblowing videographers who video animal abuse, blow their little whistles and thereby help the terrorists win. Because who the hell cares how chickens are killed, and pigs stunned and cows bled? [Disclosure: Madrigal also tells tax authorities he is POCHO’s Migrant Editor.]

Flash: Three authors get Castaneda Research Bullshit Award

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(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) Carmen Reinhart and Kenneth Rogoff, authors of the mathematically-challenged Growth in a Time of Debt pro-“austerity” study, and Jason Richwine, the Heritage Foundation researcher who claimed Hispanics have lower IQs, are the recipients of the 2013 Carlos Castaneda Award for Academic Bullshit, it was announced today.

The prize is named for the Peruvian-born UCLA anthropologist and cult leader who wrote several best-selling books about a Yaqui brujo that were marketed as truth but turned out to be bullshit. It’s presented annually to “those academic authors who manage to fool some of the people some of the time.”

The award, which features a $19.99 monthly stipend and a year’s supply of vegetarian “sausage” for the winners, is a community project of the Soyrizo Foundation of Los Angeles, which is “dedicated to recognizing and celebrating phony-ass shit wherever we find it, with a spicy Latin flair,” executive vice president Penn O. Kehoe said in a foundation press release.

Mas…Flash: Three authors get Castaneda Research Bullshit Award

Flash: Bob Esponja reveals he’s an undocumented immigrant

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(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) SpongeBob SquarePants is an undocumented immigrant whose family drifted into Bikini Bottom, Hawaii, from Mexico when he was child, the Nickelodeon star revealed this morning.

SquarePants (real name: Bob Esponja) made the announcement at packed press conference called by Animal Actors for Reform and Fairness (AARF), a pro-immigration reform group.

The reality TV actor plans to apply for President Obama’s Deferred Action program so he can work and drive legally.

“Sure — I’m absorbent. And porous. And as yellow as can be,” he said, his voice cracking, “but that doesn’t mean I should live in a piña under the sea.”

Mas…Flash: Bob Esponja reveals he’s an undocumented immigrant

Food News: Flying burger copter delivers lunch in England (video)

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It’s not bogus like the taco copter or merely a proof of concept like the flying burrito bomber. It’s not a product that hasn’t shipped yet, like the 3D tortilla printer. The flying hamburger copter is here; actually it’s over there, in London. As a matter of fact, if you’re in London now, order a burger to go with everything on it to be delivered to the POCHO office. When they ask for money, tell ’em Wimpy sent you.

Dear Mom and Dad: Thank you for sending me to Camp Rancho Cholo

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Dear Mom and Dad Pocho: How are you? I am fine. Tio Chuy says I have to write at least one letter a week if I want to get a tat, so here it is. Everything here at Camp Rancho Cholo is too cool for school. The vatos in my crib are fun to hang out with and the counselors let you eat all the food you want in the dining hall even if it doesn’t taste that good.

Mas…Dear Mom and Dad: Thank you for sending me to Camp Rancho Cholo

Shocking video: Facebook updates a guy’s real life

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True story! My cousin’s friend in Baltimore came back to his place after work and found out that Facebook had updated his real life! Luckily for us, he had a full sound and video crew there. Also maybe lighting and craft services.

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