Bolivia puts Mother Earth over God, dooms country to Hell

Cocaine-growing heathen socialist Evo Morales is president of a country bound for Hell

(PNS reporting from BOLIVIA) Undoubtedly weakened by defending herself from deranged Islamo-fascists seeking to nestle in her naïve, hot-blooded bosom, Latin America has fallen victim to an even more dangerous attacker: The Green Dragon of Environmentalism.

Bolivia is slated pass unprecedented legislation that would grant the planet the same rights as human beings. The environment will be given special protections from industry and related development under the recently-proposed Law of Mother Earth. Socialist cocaine-growing President Evo Morales, the first openly-heathen president in Latin America, believes this legislation will help protect unwed whore Mother Earth from the fairy tale of climate change.

The 'girl from Titicaca' was made famous in the hit bossa nova record by the same name

At the foundation of the environmentalist agenda of complete world domination is a simple assertion: humans have caused damage to the earth and we should stop. But we must ask, have we really? It is impossible to tell. Indeed, Christian experts warn us to be wary of scientist demons with their magic numbers and devil thermometers. Filled with a combination of mercury and stem-cells from unborn children, these climate measuring devices have become tools of Green Party extremists. First item on their agenda: ceasing the production of leatherbound printed Bibles — all under the guise of reducing deforestation, of course.

There is only one science textbook we need, His Book:

Fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth. (Genesis 1:26-31)

When man refuses to worship God, he will worship himself and the earth. (Romans 1:18-31)

The indigenous “philosophy” behind the Law of Mother Earth is misguided and irresponsible. For hotter than any “greenhouse effect” are the raging fires of Satan’s red house!    The sulfur and fumes from the burning bodies of pagans and homosexuals are more toxic than the smog of one hundred million SUVs and coal factories emitting gas for all eternity.

Your only hope is to get right with the Lord. Bolivia, save yourself before it is too late!

Susana Quiñones

Pocho Ñews Service PNS is a wholly-fictitious subsidiary of the Pocho Corporation, who is a person according to the Supreme Court.  Don’t ask us, we just work here. Girl from Titcaca image courtesy MartinT11. Morales photo by Joel Alvarez.


Editor’s note: This story from Susana is the first reader-submitted story received via our stealthy  Why Did the Editor Cross the Border in a Car Trunk Web interface. Thanks, pocha!  If you have a story or a cartoon or a video or a photo or a cool site you know we will love, please: SUBMIT!