El Now

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FTP Local #207 taps ‘Mainstream Media’ for 2016 Golden Dookie Award

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sparkleturd (PNS reporting from BEVERLY HILLS) Local #207 of the Federation of Turd Polishers (FTP) has chosen “The Mainstream Media” as the recipient of their 2016 Golden Dookie Award, PNS has learned.

The union will cite the news media’s whitewashing of Donald Trump’s hate, xenophobia, racial prejudice, misogyny, lies, bullying, sexual assault, fraud, and foreign entanglements as “the new normal.”

“They polished the shit right off of that turd,” one FTP official told PNS.

Mas…FTP Local #207 taps ‘Mainstream Media’ for 2016 Golden Dookie Award

Loyalty and Loathing: Is Donald Trump the new Fidel Castro?

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saluteSince Donald Trump’s astonishing rise to power, there is only one other public figure I can recall that has drawn such extremes of loyalty and loathing: Fidel Castro in his prime.

I will no doubt get an avalanche of criticism from my fellow Cuban-Americans for making this observation. But that simply proves my point. Although at opposite ends of the political spectrum, both men are lightning rods for polarization. Their similarities are in political style, not ideology.

“…THEIR IMPULSIVE PERSONALITIES WERE CATNIP TO THE MEDIA.”

Mas…Loyalty and Loathing: Is Donald Trump the new Fidel Castro?

Pocho Ocho Top Tunes on Obama’s forthcoming jazz CD

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON D.C.) President Barack Obama will launch a new career when his term ends — a career as a jazz saxophonist, PNS has learned.

Insiders at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue say the president has been spending almost every weekend for the last six months practicing his tenor saxophone, a gift from former President Bill Clinton, rehearsing, and recording with his band. His first CD — Barry Blows the Blues — will drop January 21, the day after Donald Trump’s inauguration.

Sources tell us these are the Pocho Ocho Top Tunes — recorded in “Living Stereo” — featured on Barry Blows the Blues:

8. Yes, I Kenya

7. Livin’ in a Cracker’s Paradise

6. Michelle

Mas…Pocho Ocho Top Tunes on Obama’s forthcoming jazz CD

People say: ‘Tia Lencha, what does ju say about Donal Tromp?’

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tialencha300I say there are racists, or Marxists, or Russia-level fascists
An orange glo-worm that hashes and dashes.

“Hey Beaner,” said the weiner, “go back to Mexico!”
Three gueros in a car. I yell back at the guero,
“Oh yeah? Thas not bery far.”

And the white people say, there’s no racists, or Marxists,
Or Russia level fascists, no orange colored glo-worm
That hashes and dashes

Mas…People say: ‘Tia Lencha, what does ju say about Donal Tromp?’

@UPDATED: Screw you, Trump! Esta tierra es mia tambien! (video)

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Wednesday my son’s second grade class in Lemon Grove, San Diego County, California put on a “Veteran’s Appreciation Show.” When the kids began with This Land is Your Land in Spanish, I was moved beyond words.

The significance of this happening right after we elected a white supremacist to the highest office in the land was not lost on me.

Seeing these children of all colors singing this song in Spanish brought me to tears.

Toma Trump! This land is for everyone!!

[Private chef Mark Lane grew up in Lemon Grove, home town of POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz. They are still “friends” on Facebook.]

UPDATED SATURDAY NOVEMBER 12 1:30 PM:

Mark Lane posted this on Facebook this morning….

Mas…@UPDATED: Screw you, Trump! Esta tierra es mia tambien! (video)

OPINION: We’ve got to get back to the Hotel California

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calflag
Return your focus to powerhouse California:
Don’t let post-election blues stop you in your tracks

As I write this, it appears the Democrats won the popular vote but lost the presidency, and did not gain control of the House or Senate.

The Democratic Party is INCLUSIVE – embracing all racial and ethnic groups and religions – and is PROGRESSIVE, looking forward and not looking back.

I think it’s important to keep that in mind: Let’s build a hopeful and enlightened future based upon knowledge and science, and not on desperation, ignorance, superstition, and outmoded colonialist notions.

As an educator who works with mostly newly arrived adults and their children to this country, I have the responsibility of ensuring they are not only able to communicate in English, but they are aware of their rights.

I share with them one of their choices, which is the pathway to citizenship and getting the right to vote, both hard-won and still having to be vigilantly protected by generations of women, blacks, Latinos, and Asians in this country.

Mas…OPINION: We’ve got to get back to the Hotel California

Never-published ‘Alt-Right’ tabloid front page called HRC win an ‘attack’

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newnastynews(PNS reporting from the ALT YORK CITY, ALT YORK) The Wednesday issue of the local “Alt-Right” newspaper — The Putin Press & Patriot — was prepared to report a Hillary Clinton’s election victory as an “attack” on America, PNS has learned (photo.) [Editor’s Note: A “newspaper” is an pre-Millennial period analog instantiation of intellectual property — i.e. “content” — fixed on a physical medium comprised of a data-carrying chemical reagent and processed dead trees.]

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT.  DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

The few, the brave, the greedy: THE CORPORINES! (PSA)

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Are you brave enough? Strong enough? Willing to fight to protect the profits of the rich and powerful? Consider signing up with newest branch of the service: THE CORPORINES! Active combat deployments available now in Standing Rock, North Dakota.

Vote! Damian Lopez Rodriguez died to become a citizen (video)

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Damian Lopez Rodriguez was brought to the USA without documents as a child — you know, one of those rapists and narcos from Mexico Donald Trump is going to deport.

Damian loved his new country so much he enlisted in the Army when he turned 18. After he died in Iraq, he was granted posthumous citizenship by President George Bush. Damian’s dad has faith his son in Heaven is voting in this election. Are you?

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