Dear gringa who wants to defend the Mexican food in New Jork

nyfoodscreencapI read jur article ^^^^ on the google about the Los Angeles Mexican food is not better than the New Jork food but different. Tia Lencha’s chonies are in a bunch. Is that how ju say? Ju don know what ju are talking about.

These are the reasons gwhy:

  1. In jur articulo, ju spend mos jur time talking about Los Angeles. That is because it has a long history of Mexican people live there. Even ju say that it used to be Mexico, tonta!
  2. Ju say the Yelpers jelp it, the media and the general peoples all say Los Angeles Mexican food is better. Thas a lot of peoples.
  3. “Get the fuck over it” and “blah, blah, blah” are no legitimate argumentations.
  4. Speaking of argumentations, the compadre Artistotle would say that jur no so qualified to talk about the Mexican food. Ju say ju live in Los Angeles and now ju live in New Jork. So jur bicoastal? So are the Dodgers.
  5. Ju only mention burritos, tacos, and that weird plato from Puebla that ju discover. Is that all the Mexican food ju taste?
  6. Ju no spend jur time talking about all the food in New Jork. Gwhy? Because there is no Mexican food that the peoples crave here.
  7. Ju talk about people eating Mexican food in their houses, not in restaurants. Excuse me, pero thas porque the restaurants here make me want to be from Colombia. Not only is the New Jork Colombian food better, but I could be like Shakira and have a soccer player novio.
  8. Have ju ever eat at a Mexican restaurant in New Jork? Ju mus like stale or cold tortillas, food that is no spicy, something green liquid they call guacamole, and worse the gringo food with the melt cheese call Tex Mex.
  9. As my compadre Victor say, “The restaurants are BJOT (Bring Jur Own Tapatio).” Is sad.
  10. Ju say that if we don find good food in New Jork we are not looking too hard enough. How far do I haf to travel for a good taco? Corona, Queens? The Bushwick? El Sunset Park? If I take the train all the way to Queens I might as well get an arepa. I jus saying.
  11. There are no enough Mexicans in New Jork to make the restaurants make the food for the Mexican peoples. Pero there are mucho gringos and mucho $4 margaritas and mucho hipsters.
  12. I don want to work that hard. I don’t want to wake up at 6 in the morning to go buy tamales from a gwoman with a shopping cart on Broadway. Do ju?
  13. There should be a Mexican Food Bible with the one of the Ten Commandments being not to mention Taco Hell in a conversation about the real Mexican food.

Okay, I feel better. I going to make myself a nice albondigas soup. Thas meatball soup for ju pochos. Gringa, have ju ever had it? Is good! I invite ju over, gringa, and I make ju some.

Tia Lencha


Republished with permission of Tia Lencha’s Cocina. All rights reserved.