Birthers question Sen. Wendy Davis of Texas: ‘Is she really white?’

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wenddavissneakers(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) Local “birthers” have temporarily put aside their doubts about Pres. Barack Obama’s citizenship to a focus on a question closer to home:

Is Texas State Senator Wendy Davis – a Democratic candidate for governor – a secret Latina?

They assert that Davis is the Anglo version of Juana; that Davis was born into a Mexican family in Oklahoma, and after successfully using her heritage and gender to get into Harvard Law School, she descended on the Lone Star State to reclaim Texas for Aztlán.

Davis gained national attention in June with a filibuster against a Republican bill to severely restrict abortions (while wearing sneakers.) She officially announced her candidacy on October 3.

“There’s no way a real Texan, would be on the side of Latinos in this state — haven’t you been paying attention?” asked Mary Jones, founder of the North Texas Tea Party Patriots, who is also an Obama birther.

“The truth is that we don’t know the truth. She could be a secret Aztlanist who’s been ‘passing’ all this time, we just don’t know, all we’re doing is asking the question.”

Mas…Birthers question Sen. Wendy Davis of Texas: ‘Is she really white?’

Mexican Football League fans: ‘WTF is the big deal about team names?’

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mfl(PNS reporting from TIJUANA) While the American sports industrial complex is still debating the insensitive and racist Native American mascot of the Washington Redskins, fans and players of the Mexican Football League (MFL) openly question the sensitivity of some in U.S. sports circles.

Tijuana resident and avid MFL fan Nestor Gil de Vaca is puzzled.

“What is the problem with the gringos?” he asked PNS. “Sports team mascots are just that, mascots. It’s not like they are real people. I am a huge fan of the Monterrey Judios, the Sonora Cadaveres and of course my home team, the Tijuana Travestis. No one is offended, we just like to enjoy football.”

Mas…Mexican Football League fans: ‘WTF is the big deal about team names?’

Hispanic Heritage Month ends, many Hispanics unsure how to go on

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heritagecalendarsadconsuela(PNS reporting from BROOKLYN) Hispanic Heritage Month is over and without the corporate-approved celebration as a focus, members of the local Hispanic/Latino community aren’t really sure how they can go on being members of the local Hispanic/Latino community.

“Where do I go from here?” lamented Brooklyn native and prolific bloguera Marielena Gutierrez (photo, right.)

“Should I tell people to call me Mary Ellen for the remaining 11 months of the year? It’s not like they ever pronounce it right anyway,” she wrote on her PobrePickle blog.

Mas…Hispanic Heritage Month ends, many Hispanics unsure how to go on

Government shutdown halts Hispanic Heritage Month in mid-month

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sadted(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) Effective immediately, all Hispanic Heritage Month observations have been halted due to the current Federal Government shutdown.

HHM activities have been classified as “non-essential” and Washington has issued guidelines on toning down loud festivities and colorful displays as the U.S. Treasury runs out of funding.

As of midnight, October 15, all functions relating to Hispanic Heritage Month ceased, according to Felix Zaragosa of the General Services Administration.

“More than 2,900 Federal Mariachi Administration inspectors were initially furloughed, putting an end to inspections of mariachi uniforms and instruments. The FMA asked 800 employees to return to work last week,” he said.

Mas…Government shutdown halts Hispanic Heritage Month in mid-month

JLo wins Espiritu Award for playing Mexicans

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Jennifer Lopez(PNS reporting from BEVERLY HILLS) Actress Jennifer Lopez was honored at the Espiritu Awards last night, netting the coveted Best Non-Mexican Actress Who Plays A Mexican In Every Role Award.

“I’m just so grateful to all of you who see in me what every casting agent in Hollywood sees: a Mexican. Which is actually better than being a real Mexican, because then I can actually get work,” she told a gleeful crowd as she accepted her award.

“If it weren’t for Mexicans, I would not have the career I do today, thank you, thank you!”

Mas…JLo wins Espiritu Award for playing Mexicans

Breaking: Scientists ID ’empty the trash’ gene in male DNA

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trashguy(PNS reporting from BOSTON) Geneticists at Boston University have discovered the gene in men that gives them the strength, stamina and expertise to take out the trash.

According to an article published Monday in the journal Science, the gene is located near other genetic material that corresponds to mens’ inherent superior ability to mow the lawn and open tight jar lids.

Mas…Breaking: Scientists ID ’empty the trash’ gene in male DNA

Crazy biker describes, records scary trip through São Paulo (video)

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It’s tough to watch this 15-minute epic ride though São Paulo, Brazil without yelling at the crazy biker — the head-mounted camera footage makes us wonder how long this guy will stay alive! The LiveLeak text seems to indicate he is a courier/messenger delivery person of some sort. Who knows Portugese and can translate his play-by-play narration?

Mom puts cross on son’s front lawn to mark another failed relationship

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crossonlawn(PNS reporting from HOUSTON) Sara Maestas placed a two-foot-high cruz on her only son’s lawn early this morning — a cross in remembrance of his latest failed relationship.

The 32-year-old transactional lawyer got dumped Saturday night by his novia, less than 20 minutes after he blew off a dinner date. And now his mother’s white polystyrene cross, adorned with flowers, sits front and center on Benjamin Maestas’ lawn in Montrose.

Just before a scheduled 6 PM Saturday rendezvous at Hugo’s Regional Mexican Cuisine, girlfriend Vicki Gardea got a text from Maestas saying he couldn’t meet due to “a short deadline to close on a shopping center for a multinational client.”

Mas…Mom puts cross on son’s front lawn to mark another failed relationship

Feminists: The struggles of immigrants are our struggles, too

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immigrationmarch600I’m often asked, “Where were you born?”

My answer? Houston, Texas.

“Where were your parents born?”

El Paso, Texas.

“Where were your grandparents born?”

El Paso, Texas, Balmorhea, Texas and Ft. Davis, Texas.

That is when people usually start to get frustrated and ask, “Well, where is your family from originally?”

The actual meaning behind this statement is “You are a brown-skinned woman and brown-skinned women are not native to the U.S.”

My answers explain that I am not the stranger. Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California, Colorado, Nevada and Utah were all once part of Mexico, after all.

Mas…Feminists: The struggles of immigrants are our struggles, too

Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: Shep E. Devereaux

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They were ordinary people living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstance conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.

(Hollywood, Dec. 23, 1958) Singing cowboy Gene Autry‘s Challenge Records signed hard-drinking rockabilly singer/piano-player Shep E. Devereaux to produce four sides. Devereaux, originally from New Orleans, booked the Flores Trio (Danny Flores on saxophone and keyboards, Gene Alden on drums, and lead guitarist Buddy Bruce) to back him up.

They recorded three rockabilly numbers and an up-tempo mostly-instrumental track composed by Flores, a song jokingly called “Chingate.”

The song’s lyrics consisted of just that one cussword, repeated three times and featured a blistering sax solo by Flores.

Mas…Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: Shep E. Devereaux

Breaking: Chef Rick Bayless invents ultimate hangover cure

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7upbaby640(PNS reporting from CHICAGO) Black coffee, menudo, In-N-Out, mota, maybe even a little hair of the dog — all common hangover remedies, right? But according to a study from Mexican culinary genius Rick Bayless, a new discovery might have them all beat: 7-Up.

“People have helplessly suffered hangovers forever and without any kind of cure. Well, I have discovered the single greatest hangover cure of all-time and can back it up with scientific evidence. No one has ever thought of this before…it’s 7-Up, my friends. You’re welcome!” Bayless told PNS.

Mas…Breaking: Chef Rick Bayless invents ultimate hangover cure

Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do Columbus Day Weekend

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diadelaraza2013FOODIE FIESTA: It’s cross-cultural cuisine fusion this weekend in the Downtown Rancho Pocho Historical District as Marco Pollo on East Olmos Boulevard offers culinary explorers a trip around the world with spaghetti tacos, eggroll rellenos, carne asada pho and kimchee pupusas.

Enjoy the all you-can-eat buffet and pitchers of Mexican Bellinis (beer and peach juice) at special Dia de La Raza/Columbus Day prices.

Mention this scribe, Chale Knickerbocker, for a sweet dessert surprise. Hint: I’m a Flan Boi!

Mas…Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do Columbus Day Weekend

Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: President Jed Bartlet

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They were ordinary people living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstance conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.

When a liberal Supreme Court justice retired in 1998, Pres. Jed H. W. Bartlet and his staff thought this was the perfect opportunity to increase approval ratings with a politically “safe” nominee, Judge Peyton Harrison.

The retiring justice was not impressed by Bartlet’s choice and urged him to consider another candidate. Bartlet asked his aide Toby Ziegler to review their decision. Ziegler, after walking and talking with other habitues of the West Wing, was uncomfortable with the prospect of losing the easy confirmation, but complied.

Zeigler learned that Harrison once argued against a Constitutional right to privacy, and told Bartlet a backup candidate should be vetted as a possible replacement nominee.

Mas…Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: President Jed Bartlet

Breaking: Latina wins Nobel for discovery of Culo Quotient

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culoquotient(PNS reporting from STOCKHOLM)  A Latina math professor was awarded the Nobel Prize in Mathematics Wednesday for her discovery of the mathematical relationship between dress dimensions and the bulbousness of the culo.

“It’s such a surprise! I was just trying to figure out how to shop for clothes that would fit me without making me look like a puta,” said Cal State L.A. Professor Rosie Carrasco, speaking to PNS from the kitchen of her mom’s house in East L.A.

Carrasco’s discovery — the Culo Quotient —  is a rigorous mathematical formula that uses the ratio of the length of a back of a a dress (typically shorter) and the length of the longer front of a dress to derive an accurate measurement of the size of the dress-wearer’s culo.

Her discovery was initially released on the Internet, before a movement sprung up to nominate her for the Nobel Prize.

She is the first Latina to win the prestigious award.

Mas…Breaking: Latina wins Nobel for discovery of Culo Quotient

Henry’s Kitchen: How to make very sad anytime chili for one (video)

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Henry Phillips, who grew up in New Jersey and got once beaned by a rock his brother threw, prepares Henry’s Anytime Chili for One, but first he needs to convert from metric, and then down-size the family-sized recipe because he’s only making dinner for himself. That involves dividing by seven, which is easier said than done. [NSFW language.]

California immigrants hail Jerry Brown’s veto of jury duty bill

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jurydutylatino(PNS reporting from SACRAMENTO) Gov. Jerry Brown vetoed legislation Monday that would have made California the first state in the nation to allow legal immigrants who are not citizens to serve on juries.

The governor has recently approved bills expanding the rights of immigrants, including legislation allowing those in the country without documents to apply for driver’s licenses and practice law. Democrat Brown said serving on a jury, however, was a civic duty that should be exclusive to citizens.

Ronaldo Santa Flojeraz (photo), 36, a client of the of  Los Angeles Immigrant Rights Labor Center, welcomed Brown’s decision. “Thank you, Governor Brown, for vetoing that bill,” he told PNS. “I was not looking forward to having to avoid the jury duty summons mailers sent by the local courts. I got better things to do.”

Mas…California immigrants hail Jerry Brown’s veto of jury duty bill

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