Pocho Ocho best ways to bait a Chipster (Chicano + hipster) Trap

hipstertrapIn New Jack City, proactive pranksters have set Hipster Traps to snare unwary hipsters. The NYC traps are baited with Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, American Spirit cigarettes, a bike chain and neon-pink Wayfarer sunglasses.

When trapping chipsters (Chicano hipsters), our experts recommend these Pocho Ocho Best Ways to Bait Your Chipster Trap:

8. Suavecito® Pomade and Beard Wax

7. Venti horchata latte, half skim, half leche de cabra, with agave sweetener

6. $60 huaraches from Urban Outfitters


5. Tommy Chong bong

4. Lalo Guerrero Los Chucos Suaves original vinyl

3. A blue (of course) cholofied shirt just like the one POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal wore Monday night on @Midnight

2. A pair of locally-sourced 3D-printed artisanal hoop earrings with net-zero carbon footprints (Al wears these around the casa)

And the Numero Uno Best Item to Bait Your Chipster Trap is…

A Morrissey Vegan-Veladora™


Especial Correspondents Lalo Alcaraz, Gustavo Arellano, Professor Equis, Memo Nericcio, Eres Nerd, Estefania Zavala, and Comic Saenz contributed to this report.