In New Jack City, proactive pranksters have set Hipster Traps to snare unwary hipsters. The NYC traps are baited with Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, American Spirit cigarettes, a bike chain and neon-pink Wayfarer sunglasses.
When trapping chipsters (Chicano hipsters), our experts recommend these Pocho Ocho Best Ways to Bait Your Chipster Trap:
8. Suavecito® Pomade and Beard Wax
7. Venti horchata latte, half skim, half leche de cabra, with agave sweetener
6. $60 huaraches from Urban Outfitters
5. Tommy Chong bong
4. Lalo Guerrero Los Chucos Suaves original vinyl
3. A blue (of course) cholofied shirt just like the one POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal wore Monday night on @Midnight
2. A pair of locally-sourced 3D-printed artisanal hoop earrings with net-zero carbon footprints (Al wears these around the casa)
And the Numero Uno Best Item to Bait Your Chipster Trap is…
A Morrissey Vegan-Veladora™
Especial Correspondents Lalo Alcaraz, Gustavo Arellano, Professor Equis, Memo Nericcio, Eres Nerd, Estefania Zavala, and Comic Saenz contributed to this report.