We already told you about the attempt to outlaw “looking too Mexican,” but that’s not the only trick the Republicans have up their (cotton-poly-blend) sleeves.
From our Ostin Especial Correspondents — this just in — here are the GOP’s Pocho Ocho new proposals for Texas:
8. Henceforth, the value for Pi π shall, for efficiency purposes, be rounded down to 3.00; additionally only apple pi is permitted
7. SB666, dubbed the “God Is My Co-Pilot Bill,” requires a Gideon Bible in every glove compartment
6. Hug a tree, go to jail
5. The official state beverage is now Texas Tea
4. Henceforth, it shall be a misdemeanor to call Texas Rangers “Rinches”
3. South Padre Island will be renamed “South Father Island”
2. Before every execution (500 and counting) of a death row inmmate, the witnesses will stand for the playing of the 1978 hit single Texas (When I Die) by Tanya Tucker, which, coincidentally, includes our own Comic Saenz among the background singers. (Look on the TNT album cover for his name.)
And the numero uno new stupid GOP proposal to come out of the Texas legislature is…
New Texas state motto: Frack! Frack like you can’t frack no more!
Map image via Bartcop (?) and many other places