Pocho Ocho reasons Latinos don’t jump from balloons over New Mexico

8. After generations of risking having your heart cut out when you climb a pyramid, Latinos have inherited a genetic fear of heights.

7. Jumping high and fast? Latinos ride low and slow.

6. That’s Mexican jumping BEANS not Mexican jumping balloons.

5. Felix Baumgartner sounds so much super heroish than Feliz Arbol Jardinero.

4. No MIGRA in space.

3. Have you ever BEEN to Roswell?

2. Abortions are legal in New Mexico.

And the numero uno reason Latinos don’t jump from space balloons over Roswell, New Mexico is…

We learned all we need to know about gravity from our primo Guillermo “Willie” Coyote, thank you very much.

ElEresNerd and Elise Roedenbeck contributed to this report.