8. If you spend your time looking up, someone will steal your wallet.
7. The only real flying object threat is a chancla.
6. We find the word “alien” pejorative and didactic. (Don’t hate on PhDs)
5. If we’re alone on a deserted road in the middle of the night, we have larger problems.
4. If they aren’t hiring baggage handlers, we’re not interested.
3. We maintain a cultural “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy about anything embarrassing.
2. We’re too busy finding religious icons on window shades and dinner entrées.
And the numero uno reasons Latinos don’t usally encounter UFOs is …
ICE is more of a threat than ET
But wait! Could this be an actual Latino UFO sighting?
The Hip Hop Hoodíos didn’t spot a one-eyed, one-armed flying purple people eater. No. It was something much, much worse. (One NSFW word in the beginning.)