So your new Mexican restaurant is taking over a space formerly occupied by a Chinese restaurant and there’s a big pandas mural painted on the wall? No problem! (Snagged from REDDIT.)
Mel Blanc, the amazing voice artist who brought our hero Speedy Gonzales to life, is the man behind this November 1957 novelty record, The Hat I Got for Christmas is Too Beeg:
Seventy-some years ago, Mexico joined the Allies (AKA the United Nations) to fight against Nazi Germany. Contrast and compare with 2016 when the U.S.A. will soon be “led” by its very own homegrown fascist.
Back in the good old days, the U.S. Office of Inter-American Affairs produced and released the propaganda flick Mexican Moods praising our new World War II BFFs south of the border, the place where cheeto boy wants to build his wall.
Headache? Cold? Flu? Rheumatism? Is your horse sick and tired too? Surrounded by desert, cacti and vultures? Ask a Mexican cabellero with an English accent if Bayer® aspirin is right for you!
[There’s lots more from Alex Garcia de Aztlan on the Instagram.]
You roll up to your tio’s carne asada ready to down some truly inhuman amount of your tia’s arroz rojo when suddenly, you realize that your uncle has traded in his authentic sombrero for a weird plaid fedora.
What will you do? WHAT WILL YOU DO?
First of all, don’t be scared. Just choose one or more options from the list below:
SpotSound.co.uk has you covered, as long as you have £300 ($465). For some reason we don’t think the Queen’s English is their first language. Check it out:
Euro-wide discount supermarket chain Lidl is celebrating “Mexican Week” (it started Monday) at its stores in Romania.
We’ve traveled the world and the seven seas; who are we to disagree?
Cliches and stereotypes included at no extra charge.
The Leipzig Torn And Restored Paper Effect is a classic routine for sleight-of-hand parlor magicians. In this new video, Scott Alexander presents the prestidigitation trick “Mexican” estyle, which involves a bad bigote, a sombrero, and is that a zerape? K tricky, no? These magic papeles are for sale — only with a magician’s recommendation, of course — but if you buy them, ask the company to make the stereotypes disappear, OK?
Dick Tracy’s 1961 TV cartoon partner Go Go Gomez saves the day in The Copy Cat Caper.
A wrenching tale of a desert crossing: A lone banana on a mission to el otro lado. Can Bonito make it?
Cairo, Egypt’s Impact BBDO advertising agency has ‘Mexican’ chips for you! Our question: If this is Mexico, why is the WANTED sign on the sheriff’s office (and the sheriff’s sign) in English?
PREVOUSLY ON ‘MEXICAN’ COMMERCIALS:
Alana Jones-Mann’s DIY: House Plant Cupcakes (photo) were the first to prick our interest when we saw them last week, so we went on a quest for more cactus cupcake photos. (Alana, by the way, is unsurpassed in capturing the true desaturated green-blue color nuances of actual cacti.)
True story! My mom went on a game show and won a cruise vacation and left me home alone so I took the 1974 Dodge Dart with my crew and went cruising. Across the country. We paid our turnpike tolls and hit the road, taking turns driving so people could sleep in the back. Then we got lost in the middle of the desert. And look at this — a four-foot dude in a big sombrero. Hey, Pedro do you know where we can get gas and food? Sure, says Pedro, over there in El Segundo….
Kelly has never been to Mexico and has no “Mexican heritage,” but she wants to visit. In February, she used Facebook to organize a “Made In Mexico” 35th birthday bash that somehow involved Bob Esponja. How did she do as a Mexican wannabe? (Don’t be hatin’ on her for the piñata mishap after all those jello shots.)
Everything you need to know about Mexico in 72 seconds, courtesy of filmmaker Chui Galvan of Morelia, D.F., MX. Cliché, you say?
In his freshman year at Stanford, @MexicanMitt Romney and his Kappa Lota Gelta fraternity brothers made a music video under the name Joe King Carrasco and the Crowns. In retrospect, Dinero seems prophetic, showing the future Bean Capitalist’s magic carpet knack for amassing large amounts of other people’s cash. (The future Mrs. Ann Romney is on keyboards.)
In other news, @MexicanMitt’s campaign released a new poster:
(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) Can you speak eSpanish like Mexican Mitt? Can you dance around a sombrero at a moment’s notice? Do you crease your Dickies until they can cut through glass? If you answered “no” to any of these questions then you might be a fake Mexican, just like San Antonio Mayor Julián Castro.
In the latest “fake Mexican” scandal, Castro made headlines across the country as the first Latino keynote speaker at the Democratic National Convention earlier this month, but his glaring lack of forced Spanish catch-phrases has some people questioning his Mexican card. Some have even dared to call the vato a pocho…
7. If you are going to speak in Spanish at the office, talk shit about your non-Spanish speaking co-workers.
6. Respond with “Yes, I am an immigrant” when your co-workers ask you where you are from. You don’t want to be rude and tell them you were actually born in Chicago, now do you?
Featuring a stereotypical “Mexican font,” the Virgen, a bottle of tequila, a poorly-painted taco and Mexican and Texican flags, the art direction and commercial for this Tex-Mex bar and restaurant leave no cliche unused. Same old same old, eh? But wait — this joint is in Tokyo’s jumping Roppongi night clubbing neighborhood. Is this an offensive advertisement, or would it be a relief for sore eyes and a growling estomach if you were in Nippon? Wouldn’t a cold Negra Modelo be nice right now, pocho-san?
8. If you spend your time looking up, someone will steal your wallet.
7. The only real flying object threat is a chancla.
6. We find the word “alien” pejorative and didactic. (Don’t hate on PhDs)
You know, sometimes it’s hard being Latino. You wake up, go about your day, do your business, and then people ask you where your donkey is, or whether your family is from Mexico.
And, you know, it may be that your family has been in the U.S. longer than theirs, or that no one in your family has a moustache, but why burst peoples’ bubbles with inconvenient truths like that?
So here’s a list of the Pocho Ocho indispensable Latino props — for those days that you forget you’re supposed to be a stereotype!
8. Sombrero — Don’t forget your hat, amigo!
7. Moustache — You know it does go with the sombrero, as does the poncho and/or donkey. Wouldn’t want you to leave home without it!