Pope visits a (non-Catholic) megachurch in ‘Bordertown’ [video]

First BORDERTOWN Clip! “The Pope Visits the Mexifornia MegaChurch” Bordertown premieres January 3, 930 pm on Fox. We’re all going to hell!

Posted by Lalo Alcaraz on Monday, December 14, 2015

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If the Facebook ^^^^ video won’t play, try this [it may take a minute to load]:

Mas…Pope visits a (non-Catholic) megachurch in ‘Bordertown’

Feds make Sheriff Joe return military gear; he has Plan B

arpaiotank(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) Racist Sheriff Joe Arpaio claims the Federal Government’s decision to reclaim “surplus” military gear (like tanks [photo] and M16 rifles) transferred to his department is no big deal since he has already procured new weapons to replace the full-auto rifles Uncle Sam wants back.

“Hell no! We don’t need tanks and M16s for these illegals,” the Maricopa County, Arizona lawman told reporters Wednesday. “We’re getting ethnically-appropriate personnel compliance effectuators from local manufacturers. I am told these things give Mexicans the FEAR!”

Mas…Feds make Sheriff Joe return military gear; he has Plan B

Cheap Chinese chanclas choke Chuy’s Choo Repair

chanclaszapatero(PNS reporting from CHICAGO) Chuy’s Choo Repair on Ashland has been fixing heels, stretching boots and giving new soles to tired oxfords since 1956, but owner Eddie Calderon doesn’t know how long he can keep his shop open.

Calderon (photo, right), whose father opened the business when he returned to Chicago after the Korean War, says he can’t keep up with cheap imported shoes flooding the country.

“Look at the pinches chanclas on sale at the Dollar Store!” Calderon told PNS as we toured the neighborhood (photo, top.) “If people can buy new Chinese chanclas for 60 cents at the stupid Dollar Store, why would they want to get them repaired if a strap breaks? It’s not worth it!”

Mas…Cheap Chinese chanclas choke Chuy’s Choo Repair

Pocho Ocho signs you grew up in a Mexican family/household

popowarriorHere is a listicle partially inspired by a mas longer listicle on BuzzFeed, because they are the listicle professionals, tu sabes.

¡Mira! The Pocho Ocho signs you grew up in a Mexican household/family:

8. Virgen de Guadalupe veladoras.

7. Your first introduction to dramatic acting was a telenovela.

6. You always wondered why gringos celebrated Cinco de Mayo more than your family.

5. You can recognize the Aztec princess Iztaccihuatl AND the warrior Popocateptl (photo) on sight.

Mas…Pocho Ocho signs you grew up in a Mexican family/household

Breaking: TX boy, 9, slays Mexican boogeyman El Cucuy, 521

elcucuy(PNS reporting from SEGUIN, TX) A nine-year-old boy killed El Cucuy Tuesday night.

El Cucuy, AKA the Mexican Boogeyman, was pronounced dead at 10:30 PM at the Balli family residence here.  The legendary monster was said to be 521, with a birth date pegged in 1492.

It was a more or less typical evening for the Balli family, according to a Guadalupe County Sheriff’s detective familiar with the case. There was no hint of the trouble to come, he said, “when boy’s parents threatened the perpetrator with El Cucuy if he didn’t brush his teeth before he went to bed.”

The youth, who turned nine July 13, refused, the officer said, so his parents summoned El Cucuy to the modest ranch-style home.

El Cucuy (file photo, above) manifested in the kid’s room around 9:40 PM, according to the investigator, and was killed during a brief firefight by “some type of particle-beam weapon” created by the boy.

The room was “a mess with comic books and plasma everywhere,” he said, and El Cucuy’s remains “looked and smelled like burnt frijoles.”

Mas…Breaking: TX boy, 9, slays Mexican boogeyman El Cucuy, 521

Ñewsweek: Latina’s lament, Jean Naté returns, video editor fired

In East L.A., activist Vanessa “Coyolxauhqui” García had a sad and broke down crying at a community meeting right before the end of the year. Garcia was distraught at the gap between her aspirations and the sad state of the world.

In the San Fernando Valley, adult video editor Roberto Mendoza faced an uncertain future after being fired for browsing Internet spreadsheets at work.

And in New Jersey, a bottle of Jean Naté was regifted to its original gifter 19 years after its purchase at Rexall.

In the final year of the Mayan Apocalypse, the Year of the Chancla, these stories broke the ñews on POCHO:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Latina’s lament, Jean Naté returns, video editor fired

Pocho Ocho ‘Hispanic Heritage’ items we want in the Smithsonian

Are you buying a new dress, ladies, perhaps a chingon chapeau? Inviting the family over for a Sonoran hot dog party? After all, National Hispanic Heritage Month 2012 starts on Saturday. Your special month is brought to you by the good folks at Tio Sam Dot Gov, the same people who thought “Hispanic” made sense on U.S. Census forms.

From the official website:

The Library of Congress, National Archives and Records Administration, National Endowment for the Humanities, National Gallery of Art, National Park Service, Smithsonian Institution and United States Holocaust Memorial Museum join in paying tribute to the generations of Hispanic Americans who have positively influenced and enriched our nation and society.

While we’re sure the gente in Washington are doing their very best, we have our own list of the pocho ocho “Hispanic” iconic items that should be in the Smithsonian:

Mas…Pocho Ocho ‘Hispanic Heritage’ items we want in the Smithsonian

Pocho Ocho other things banned in Houston beside piñatas


In the suburbs of Houston – Harris County, TX – officials are reviewing a controversial policy that prohibits piñatas in certain county parks after Tony Diaz of Librotraficantes questioned the rule and signs that singled out piñatas:

It’s mind-boggling. Why be so culturally specific? If you want to say ‘No littering,’ then say ‘No littering.’ But this is like saying, ‘No Mexicans.’

We had to ask: What are the Pocho Ocho other things that are banned in Houston aside from piñatas?

8. Eating tacos without a fork

7. Parking cars on blocks

6. Sleeping under a cactus

Mas…Pocho Ocho other things banned in Houston beside piñatas